BallReviews
Equipment Boards => Elite => Topic started by: itsallaboutme on July 02, 2013, 03:19:12 PM
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The slow boat got here early, so the balls arrived in the warehouse today. I'm gonna give away one of each. The response that entertains me the most gets choice, random number post gets leftover.
We'll let it go until July 12. Everyone is eligible cause I'm not going back and looking for all the people I've sent balls to.
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I have always been a good global bowler even in Columbia when its stormin' with the bowlers beside me making hammering sounds, I never get off track or lose sight of my motive. But now I am ready to be Elite!!
(Besides my birthday is July 15th ;))
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Receive a 3rd party call last night from somebody named Snowden. Worst Russian accent I have ever heard in my life. He said the "Treason" was the way to go. He was in the process of asking me if I knew a good travel agent, then the phone went dead. Go figure. ;D
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you want entertainment, come watch me bowl. Thats enough to make any person crack up. But i will give it the old college try.
After being out of bowling for years, i am getting back in. I feel like i am commiting "treason" from my old ball company, The Big B. And all my friends "echo" that sentiment. But truth be told, i could care less what anyone thinks. I am an ELITE bowler, and deserve that type of equipment.
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IIs it a jet black remake of the pba cheetah...aka monster scream R.... If so, count me in.
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After a terrible, lackluster season
To keep bowling he needed a reason
He said "Come next fall
I'll try a new ball"
And if I win, I'll be throwing a TREASON!
(I would type this all over again, but you would probably think it was only an ECHO)
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The TREASON you should give me one is because I was part of an ESPIONAGE team sent in to investigate an ALIEN ABDUCTION. My team went ahead of me into a spacecraft to check it out, and a minute later, I heard ECHOs of screams and TERROR.
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I want an echo!
. . .echo!
. . .echo!
. . .echo!
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No need to Cheat-- Be Elite!
The Treason is a reason to commit
If you want a ball for oil to never quit
The haters faces as you win never forget
As their Storm ball left a 10 pin.. didn't hit
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I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered saying, "Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin, and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down! I couldn't believe anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person answered again, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word 'asshole' and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him. He'd answer and I'd yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me - I would probably have to stop calling the asshole. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number. When I heard, "Hello?" I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?"
He answered "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
The reason I took the time to tell you this story is to show you how, if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it! Just dial 823-4863!!
---------- Keep reading -- it gets better.
An old lady at the shopping center really took her time pulling out of a parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally her car began to move, and she started to v-e-r-y slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to maneuver.
"Great," I thought, "she's finally leaving." All of a sudden, a black Mercedes came flying up the parking aisle, going the wrong direction, and pulled into her space. I hit the horn and started yelling, "You can't do that. I was here first!"
The guy climbed out of his Mercedes, completely ignoring me. He walked toward the shopping center as if he hadn't heard me. I thought to myself, "This guy's an asshole. There's sure a lot of assholes in this world." Then I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later, I'm sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're an asshole!" (it's really easy since I have his number on speed dial now). I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Mercedes laying on my desk and figured I'd better call this guy, too.
After a couple of rings, someone answered the phone and said, "Hello?"
I said, "Is this the guy with the black Mercedes for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out front."
"What's your name?"
"My name's Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes."
"Don, you're an asshole!" And I slammed the phone down.
After I hung up, I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. I must say, for a while things seemed to be going much better for me. Now when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then, after several months of calling the assholes and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:
First, I had my phone speed dial asshole number 1. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"
I yelled, "You're an asshole!" but I didn't hang up.
The asshole said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "Make me."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
So I told him, "Don Hansen."
He said, "Where do you live?"
I answered, "1802 West 34st Street. It's a yellow house and my black Mercedes is parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole!" and I hung up. Then I called asshole number 2.
He answered, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, asshole."
He said, "If I ever find out who you are ..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your ass."
"Well, here's your chance ... I'm coming over right now, asshole!" And I hung up.
Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as I got home. Then I made another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down on West 34th Street.
After that, I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.
Glorious satisfaction -- watching the two assholes kicking the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew was one of the greatest experiences of my life. :)
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Please select me or I'll be forced to sign you up for all of the current pics available and the future updates on www.janetrenonudes.com
Have a nice day.
;)
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I don't want one just purchased two new hammers coming out on 16th.....but if u sent me one anyway might have to drill up and say nice things about it...like hits like a truck...prettier than hedi klum....ball has nice continuation three the pin deck...stuff like that...just sayn I don't want one but I wouldn't say no....
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itsallaboutme IS THE MOST AWESOME BOWLER OF ALL TIME. Not enough can be said about his bowling ability and the way that he dominates the lanes week in and week out. His 279 average can be matched by no mortal human being and his record 39th 900 series will go down in bowling history as the single greatest achievement in the history of all sports. He even had to have his own hall of fame built for all of his accolades!
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Backup-I hope that's a good story and you were able to copy and paste cause I sure ain't reading all of that.
Natty-I could be a candidate for the "Striking with dress shoes and somebody else's/demo ball/14# house ball" HOF.
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I still have the green Grip it and Rip it rubber bracelet.
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Two words: TRUFFLE SHUFFLE. If you pick me i will upload me doing this. This way you can be entertained more than one time.
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That story is one of the few things my dad ever forwarded to me (e-mail was just getting going when he died). It was so bizarre to get that from him, he was very religious, straight-laced, etc., it really made it hysterical.
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I got nothing entertaining to say, so throw me in the random draw for the leftover ball.
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a guy walks into a bar...
...he says "ouch."
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I got a Elite Echo and rev terror Bowling Ball coming this week, and can't wait to get them drilled up, looking forward to see how the new stuff is and can't wait to get my hand on a treason
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Once again, it is nice to see someone doing something like this on this site.
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Itsallaboutme..........keep up the good work. ;)
Nothing fancy to say, just saying thanks. ;D
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Know what the fish said when it swam into a wall? "Dam!"
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I got to this by elite #staffers Curtis and Riley, or aka Curtis- I always top 5 in jbt's but never win, or Riley- I never wear belts for reviews and let my butt hang out in every shot.
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Benedict Arnold committed Treason. Does Edward Snowden "Echo" his sentiments?
Hey-O!
::) :P :-X
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1. prolly best not to wear jeans with designs on the pockets when you make videos for me unless you want to hear about it until, well, until I get old and can't remember anymore!
2. guys shouldn't wear jeans that look like they should be their mom's unless you like the nickname mom's jeans.
3. leave the white belts for the flat bellies. He didn't get that memo.
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my girlfriend told me to get a set of balls , so if u send me 1 i'll be halfway there.
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(https://www.ballreviews.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi73.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fi211%2Fbautch24%2FEliteContest.jpg&hash=5a72db9563c6262db0dd43fd11c2dc548aafab04) (http://s73.photobucket.com/user/bautch24/media/EliteContest.jpg.html)
(https://www.ballreviews.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi73.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fi211%2Fbautch24%2FEliteContest2.jpg&hash=d1a266ff832c3379ac4a4c5f9ec3851e871089b6) (http://s73.photobucket.com/user/bautch24/media/EliteContest2.jpg.html)
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for your entertainment.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUChJeGH7HU
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Kanyon,
If it was the girls from bautch24's post in your line dance we would have shut it down, you were winner winner chicken dinner!
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A couple of days left.
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Subject: Contact me urgently
MR. DOUG BLOCH ,
WEMA BANK PLC
LAGOS NIGERIA
RE: TRANSFER OF TREASON And ECHO (URGENT & CONFIDENTIAL)
Dear Friend,
I have the honor and confidence to introduce you to this business in view of the fact that you are trustworthy and reliable.
I am Mr. Doug Bloch.
I work in the foreign Payment Department of WEMA BOWLING BALL BANK PLC LAGOS NIGERIA.
There is an account opened in our bank in 1990 but since 1996 nobody has operated on this account again.
After a private investigation I discovered that the owner of this account was the manager of U.MARTINES CO.LTD - a foreigner who has since died without having a beneficially to this account.
My investigation proved to me also that nobody from the company knows about this account since the company has not become operational.
The amount contained in this account is an Elite Treason and Echo.
It is my wish and intention to take these balls abroad for bowling.
My colleague and I will need you to set up a new account for this transfer and send to us Or you might send an existing account with no ball in it for us to use.
We will use normal banking proceedure to transfer the balls legally.
I will bring my position and influence to facilitate transfer immediately by legal means.
What we request is absolute secrecy and confidentiality.
And that you will never never disappoint us when balls are transfered to your account.
There is no risk to this business as I will follow the normal banking proceedure.
When the balls are transfered to any account you will provide I will bring all documents used in this process to destroy them in your presence when I come over for my share.
Sharing shall be 20% for you, 75% for me and the remaining 5% to offset any expenses done by each party cause in business every cent spent counts.
Contact me urgently at dougb at ballreviews.com.
Best Regards,
Mr. Doug Bloch.
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Ihave seen some really good posts that made me laugh. I don't have anything that could compare so please enter me into the random drawing.
Thanks
3835
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Oh man Thank you for doing this and spreading the word on these great balls. I can only say that if you gave me one it would be adding to my large Elite arsenal.
I currently have:
Esponiage
Red Alien (2)
Black Alien (2)
Platinum
Rev Terror (2)
Alien Abduction (2)
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I ECHO everyone's sentiments, that this post is indeed an act of TREASON!
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Ihave seen some really good posts that made me laugh. I don't have anything that could compare so please enter me into the random drawing.
Thanks
3835
SAMe for me. I can't compete with som eof the above comments. Very creative. Kudos.
I need another Elite to go with my 2 Espionages: one dull and smooth, the other flippier and stronger, for more of an inside line.
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I'm a pig, so bautch24 wins.
PM me your ball choice, weight, name and address.
The random number from the wife is 23. Tripcee, that's you.
Send your weight, name and address and you get the leftover.
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O.O I'm literally bouncing around while typing this. Needed something good after some recent events! Thank you!
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And there I thought I had a good one with the Nigeria bank scam. I guess I should've known those pictures would trump any creativity lol. I'm a guy after all!
In all seriousness thanks for the contest and congratulations to the winners!
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Thanks for putting on the contest! I'll PM you with my decision shortly, are both of these balls symmetrical? I am very excited to win and will deff post a video review when I get the ball drilled up.
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I guess not even a topic that I'm GIVING 2 bowling balls away is immune from a bashing. As Elk would tweet-#fukme
Somebody once said something about not being able to please all of the people all of the time.
I wouldn't worry too much about the users who deride you for a MORE than generous offer. People like that probably wouldn't have appreciated it, even if they had won.
Most of the reasonable people here understand what you are doing, and I GREATLY applaud you for coming here and having these "contests", GIVING AWAY TOTALLY FREE BOWLING BALLS!
Thank you for your efforts, and PLEASE, don't let the naysayers drag you down, because your efforts ARE appreciated.
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I hope my comments didn't come across the wrong way. It's harder to be subtle in print. Was trying to make a joke about beauty beating out brains...
I think it's awesome you gave them away and you succeeded in peaking my interest in maybe the one brand I've never tried.
Thanks again.
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dougb,
You had a chance if your post was about 1/4 as long as it was. This is the internet. I ain't reading all of that!
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I removed my post, because after I read it again, I realized it didn't sound how I intended and I apologize if it came off wrong! I'll have to get one and test it before making comments about a company I haven't used and the videos do appear that the balls rolls good. Kudos to you for giving away a products and not many companies do that and you should be commended!! Just my $.02, Bruce
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dougb,
You had a chance if your post was about 1/4 as long as it was. This is the internet. I ain't reading all of that!
I didn't even read all of my post! Mine was only good if you remember the Nigerian bank scam emails that flooded the internet back in the day. Otherwise not so much.
Again, thanks for the giveaway.
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I do have to admit that I enjoyed reading the great authors on here with their stories!!! Wow, what great minds these people have to come up with these posts!!!
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Doug, I thought your post was pretty clever.
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Doug, I thought your post was pretty clever.
Thanks!
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dougb,
You had a chance if your post was about 1/4 as long as it was. This is the internet. I ain't reading all of that!
At least it wasn't a solid, single spaced, block of run on text...
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I DON'T CARE THE WAY YOU THROW THE BALL IF IT NOT DRILL RIGHT OR THE LAYOUT DOES NOT FIT YOUR STYLE OF BOWLING , NO BALL WILL WORK FOR YOU, I GOT 3 ELITE BALLS ECHO, REV, Espionage, THEY ARE AWSOME BALLS, BUT LAYOUT GOT TO FIT YOU REV RATE AND YOUR STYLE OF BOWLING, USE THE CORE OF THE BALL, I SEE EVERYONE REVING THE BALL, LET THE CORE DO THE WORK
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dougb,
You had a chance if your post was about 1/4 as long as it was. This is the internet. I ain't reading all of that!
At least it wasn't a solid, single spaced, block of run on text...
You just had to say something about a single block of text, didn't you?