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Author Topic: Are these guys in your league?  (Read 17845 times)

baccala8872

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Are these guys in your league?
« on: April 06, 2007, 01:28:22 AM »
And you know what, I wouldn't trade them for anything........!!!!

--The old dude who has memorized the schedule about 6 weeks in advance, and tells you what lanes he is on when he is standing in front of you as you are handing out the lane assignments for the night.

--The guy who, at the end of the night, gives you the entire blow-by-blow account of every shot he threw of every frame.  The series amounts to 512 (which we re-named our team "512" 5 years ago--the guy still has no idea that it's a playful rib at him) or something in that ballpark.

--The drunk team and stoner team.  Best nights are when they play each other.  It's like a substance-abuse fest.  Nothing but empty beer bottles and bags of Cool Ranch Doritos laying around.

--The team that refuses to move.  These are the guys still using the BUD II, or on the other end of the spectrum, Angular One's, and will be damned if they move even 1/4 of a board to the left as they whiff the head pin time and time again.  Their saving grace is the crossover light mixer strike, which convinces them that they are lined in.

--The Human Rain Delay team.  We have a guy who picks up his ball, curls it to his bicep, closes his eyes to visualize his shot, hyperextends his bowling arm to hold the ball dead straight out, and only then begins his approach.  If he ever won a PBA telecast, he would take home about $45.00.  This team has the obligatory old dude that stands there pondering his 6-pin conversion, only to throw a shot that would convert the 7-pin.

--The No Business Using That team.  You know this team.  The four guys collectively averaging 660, but all using Total NV's, and absolutely abusing the head pin by bashing it in the face all night.  See also:  Refuse To Move Team (above)

--The 100-mph Team.  The team of Plastic Fireballers whizzing the ball at the head pin at Mach 3, hitting the 1-3 and not understanding why they aren't carrying, and becoming more furious by the minute.

--The Team That Announces Everything.  "Congratulations to XXXXX, with a 203 game."  

--The Scoreboard Creepers.  These guys become more prevalent as the season winds down.  They hawk the back of your pair to see how you are doing against your opponents.  They are usually rosin bag target practice for us.  Playfully, of course.

--The Team with the Kiddy.  They have so many rules and fines, that Stephen Hawking is the only other guy that could possibly understand how much you or your teammates pay on a turkey, or an open, or a beer frame, or a washout conversion, or not getting the wood on a split, or not quacking and flapping your arms on a double, etc.  Their pair usually sounds like a generous slot machine in Atlantic City.

--The Owner's Team.  Usually stacked, with the absolute biggest cake shot ever on that pair for the night.

And because of these guys is the reason why I've been in this league for 1/3 of my entire life.

 

laneman

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #61 on: April 07, 2007, 12:30:39 PM »
How about the "religious" bowler..

After every shot all you hear is "Jesus Christ"

rackattack

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #62 on: April 07, 2007, 01:23:09 PM »
quote:
How about the "religious" bowler..

After every shot all you hear is "Jesus Christ"



LOL
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LuvThatWhiteDot

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #63 on: April 07, 2007, 02:00:36 PM »
I have laughed every time I opened this thread.  This has been one of the best threads on here in a long time

P.S. -- I'm a shorts wearer year round (but cheat and wear jeans in and out of the building before bowling.  I only bowl in pants at USBCs)

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laneman

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #64 on: April 07, 2007, 02:09:59 PM »
This is a great topic  

williamrox1

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #65 on: April 07, 2007, 08:02:14 PM »
Hey what about them ones that really don't bowl good yet think they are the best. (Cough, Larry's team, Awesome Foursome). They suck like heck. Larry avgerages 154 with a 10lb trooper, he's 16. Jerry, avgs 120 with a Tornado and Storm Razor Wire, hooks the hell outta it. Pulls the fingers out of the bottom hook. Kari, 111, throws a 16 AMF Amflite, she's like 75lbs herself, no backswing mostly ol' Wayne Webb bowlin without hook. Zach, 140. Skinny crackhead looking guy, has a killa high and strait backswing throws house balls 12lbers.
Or the team that is arrange it the most crappy format. Strikers, truly irrelevant to their bowling. Nick, lil kid, hooks a maxim avgs 126. Robbie lil kid, throws a backup Rock Vis Ball, avgs 134. Eric, lil kid, lefty sucks. When you are on the approach about to throw a shoot, he grabs his 6lb Power Groove, yells "You can suck my toe" and goes through his one step approach. Has no hook and releays on handicap.
I dont know where my team would rank.
Me, avg 181, throwin 20-10 hook, i throw handshake release, can change steps in my approach to deal with oil. Forward or backwards. Start in the middle. 15lb Nomercy, punsiher, infinite one, spare, monster
Chuck, avg 165, throwin 30-5 hook. runs to the line, releases like amleto moncelli, awesome hook, black widow, lane1 cystal ball
Zach, avg 156, thowin up 5 hook. Suitcases the ball. Columbia 300 Wicked
Sterling, (if he ever shows up) avgs 134. Helicopter release. AMF Victory SPT.
We are in 2nd place. I throw one or two 200s at league as does chuck.
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ThongPrincess

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #66 on: April 07, 2007, 08:57:09 PM »
How about the disappearing team, and I'm not referring to the one that is gone everytime they are up.  My Sunday league - 4 person teams.  Pat doesn't show up for 3-4 weeks and no call.  Finally, there is some word about losing his job or changing jobs or something and quit.  Ray, pulls his achilles in November is out 4-6 weeks comes back and 4-5 weeks later re-pulls it.  6 weeks pass and still no Ray, about week 8 word comes he won't be back.  Ray 2 has been flakey on and off, but usually called to say he wouldn't be there just as warm-up ends.  He now doesn't show up.  Tells another bowler in the league to let me know.  1 week it is he's called in to work, next week he hurt his ankle, then just plain no show.

Again, I can't wait for the season to end May 20th.  The house has got me a permanent sub so at least the team is legal.
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djfettes

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #67 on: April 08, 2007, 02:04:28 AM »
What about 12 lane courtesy guy?!?!  every league has 1 or 5, cant bowl if anyone might get in vision, God forbid you step on the approach 2 lanes over.

I am also wear shorts year round, in Alaska no less.
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Martin710

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #68 on: April 08, 2007, 09:58:57 AM »
This is the best topic that I've read on bowling sites. How about the cheerleaders' team. The members of this team (both men and women) cheer everything their members do from strikes to almost picked up spares. They shout and holler and even chant epithets like super, fantastic etc...Well Baccala, you said that you wouldn't trade them for anything. LOL I would gladly trade the cheerleaders...

justdale

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #69 on: April 08, 2007, 10:14:48 AM »
I am the " Short's guy" only time I wear pants in City, State, and Nationals. I see nothing wrong with shorts, and I am the jeans wearing type too. It's just more comfy, and easier to put on the knee brace

Tommy32

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #70 on: April 08, 2007, 10:18:13 AM »
This is a great topic, have run into may of these teams and bowlers over the years!!

Here are a couple, want about the "Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda" guy, the one who coulda have hit the shot but shoulda brought the ball that he left home or woulda have used another ball except the inserts are too worn or it needs some work on the thumb.

Then you have the "Jump On Your Line" guy.  The one that watches someone who is doing pretty good, jumps on your line and tells that he do it because you were striking, with a sanded bowl totally blowing your shot.

burly

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #71 on: April 08, 2007, 10:19:00 AM »
awesome thread
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scooter19530

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #72 on: April 08, 2007, 12:06:26 PM »
i can't believe no one has said the "SKOAL BANDIT DUDE" the guy has the ring outline in his jeans. he always get the clear glass with the napkin for the bottom, then proceeds to spit and let it run down the glass to the napkin. the waitresses love this guy. you just hope no one gets tooo drunk and decides to drink out of this glass. he is usually the close talker so his breath wreeeeks of tobacco and oh my, what a beautiful set of "choopers" he has. all brown in the cracks of his gums. he usually wears the jeff gordon hat. oh yea, what about the white rapper wanna-ba team. they all wear their hats a different directions. their pants are uaually down to their knees, the waist that is. in a couple of years they will be the "butt crack team" for now they are just the "boxer shorts team".

Crankenstein300

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #73 on: April 08, 2007, 01:07:01 PM »
Couple more to add, although these may also go under an already mentioned name.

Guy I call "Cadillac Man" because he has the old Cadillac Fleetwood with the huge trunk, and then puts his entire arsenal in the back, about 45 balls deep. Shows up at league or a tournament, pulls out the donkee 6 ball roller and picks out wht he's going to use for the day.

Also the "I No Move" team. Regardless of if they are missing the headpin or splitting all night, they refuse to move their shot on the lane. Usually followed by moaning and groaning that the house changed the shot on them. The proprietor loves these guys as he usually gets an earful from one or more of them after league about how bad the lanes were.

sirguy

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #74 on: April 08, 2007, 04:19:24 PM »
You guys are killing me...

How about the "Holy Rollers"..

These guys have a team prayer before the match starts. Hand holding in a circle and your team is invited. I can see praying in football with all the injuries. but bowling? I have yet to see a bowler carried out of the alley on stretcher from a bowling related injury.
I can hear God now (I have given thee "THS" and thou aren't satisfied.)

The Bad Advice Team/Guy

This guy may be on your team or the opposition and actually means well with gems like these

-(To a bowler who rolls a straight ball)  You need to move more to the left because the lanes are drying out.

-(To a bowlers who is dropping his ball on release) You don't need tape just hold the ball tighter during your release.

The "In Love" team.

At least two members are dating or sleeping together. Public displays of affection and pet names are the order of the day. The only thing worse than bowling "Love American Style" is actually being on the team. Especially if the breakup happens during the season. Try filling a womens position on the roster at mid season.

The Moon Man

Showing Split on every shot before the ball touches the lane.  It seems no pants can contain his bulbous physique.







bamaster

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #75 on: April 09, 2007, 09:36:01 AM »
I didn't want to mention it but I'm afraid you made me.

On this one league a long time ago we had "the gay team".  These guys, as super nice as they were, were flaming, swishy, lispy, oh-no-you-didn't, gay.  Three of them were terrible bowlers, house balls and house shoes.  But the other two were pretty good.  It was easy to laugh about them, until you bowled them.  They had a ton of handicap and the two good bowlers could pop off big scores.

I remember one Halloween two of them came in drag.  It was over the top, but man it was funny.  The manager made an announcement over the speakers that no heels were to be worn on the lanes.  Haha!
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