Post by: baccala8872 on April 06, 2007, 01:28:22 AM
--The old dude who has memorized the schedule about 6 weeks in advance, and tells you what lanes he is on when he is standing in front of you as you are handing out the lane assignments for the night.
--The guy who, at the end of the night, gives you the entire blow-by-blow account of every shot he threw of every frame. The series amounts to 512 (which we re-named our team "512" 5 years ago--the guy still has no idea that it's a playful rib at him) or something in that ballpark.
--The drunk team and stoner team. Best nights are when they play each other. It's like a substance-abuse fest. Nothing but empty beer bottles and bags of Cool Ranch Doritos laying around.
--The team that refuses to move. These are the guys still using the BUD II, or on the other end of the spectrum, Angular One's, and will be damned if they move even 1/4 of a board to the left as they whiff the head pin time and time again. Their saving grace is the crossover light mixer strike, which convinces them that they are lined in.
--The Human Rain Delay team. We have a guy who picks up his ball, curls it to his bicep, closes his eyes to visualize his shot, hyperextends his bowling arm to hold the ball dead straight out, and only then begins his approach. If he ever won a PBA telecast, he would take home about $45.00. This team has the obligatory old dude that stands there pondering his 6-pin conversion, only to throw a shot that would convert the 7-pin.
--The No Business Using That team. You know this team. The four guys collectively averaging 660, but all using Total NV's, and absolutely abusing the head pin by bashing it in the face all night. See also: Refuse To Move Team (above)
--The 100-mph Team. The team of Plastic Fireballers whizzing the ball at the head pin at Mach 3, hitting the 1-3 and not understanding why they aren't carrying, and becoming more furious by the minute.
--The Team That Announces Everything. "Congratulations to XXXXX, with a 203 game."
--The Scoreboard Creepers. These guys become more prevalent as the season winds down. They hawk the back of your pair to see how you are doing against your opponents. They are usually rosin bag target practice for us. Playfully, of course.
--The Team with the Kiddy. They have so many rules and fines, that Stephen Hawking is the only other guy that could possibly understand how much you or your teammates pay on a turkey, or an open, or a beer frame, or a washout conversion, or not getting the wood on a split, or not quacking and flapping your arms on a double, etc. Their pair usually sounds like a generous slot machine in Atlantic City.
--The Owner's Team. Usually stacked, with the absolute biggest cake shot ever on that pair for the night.
And because of these guys is the reason why I've been in this league for 1/3 of my entire life.
Post by: KDawg77 on April 06, 2007, 09:32:33 AM
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You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel. Congratulations.
http://www.myspace.com/lefthandedhammerpride
http://members.bowl.com/FindAMember/memberView.aspx?mp=418&ms=2006&s=2006-2007
Edited on 4/6/2007 9:32 AM
Edited on 4/8/2008 12:53 PM
Post by: Ragnar on April 06, 2007, 09:37:36 AM
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"I do desire that we may be better strangers." Willie the Shake, As You Like it(III,ii)
"I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are, Dimitri."
Post by: alcornel on April 06, 2007, 09:43:01 AM
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Andy
Las Vegas, NV
Post by: Gene J Kanak on April 06, 2007, 10:00:22 AM
Man, you nailed it! My men's league has several of the teams you describe. I do, however, think that you left out a couple.
#1 The "our time has come" squad: This team is filled with five senior aged bowlers who use balls ranging from manhattan rubber to maybe urethane Hammers. They throw the ball straight, they act surly, and they complain about there being "too damn many balls on the rack". The best feature of this group, however, is their complete and total lack of lane courtesy. They grab their ball and without looking to either side get up and go. It's almost as if they're saying, I've been doing this for 50 years, I don't have to wait anymore.
#2 The big time bowling shirt bandits: These guys all pick up $40-50 name-brand bowling shirts, usually that match the balls that they're throwing, and proceed to strut around like they are God's gift to the game. They usually don't shoot higher than 580-620 apiece, but they look like a million bucks and feel like it too!
The third and final one that I have is usually found in individual form, not as a whole team:
The I'm going to wear shorts every week of the year, regardless of temperature guy: He is usually a bigger, heftier guy. He'll bowl in shorts from Week 1 through Week 33 with absolutely no regard for the -15 degree temperatures that can be found during the middle months. This guy just bowls better in shorts, so he's going to wear them, and there's nothing you can do about it.
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I've only bowled 300, but I've benched 345
http://members.bowl.com/FindAMember/memberView.aspx?mp=519&ms=9130&s=2006-2007
Edited on 4/6/2007 10:00 AM
Post by: baccala8872 on April 06, 2007, 10:06:46 AM
, but I am the guy who bowls in shorts year round. My one "saving grace" is that I usually wear sweats and/or warmups over my shorts/t-shirts and peel them off when I get into the center.
Post by: alcornel on April 06, 2007, 10:16:58 AM
I bowled in a scratch league where we had a 'Double Threat' - he was a human rain delay shorts wearing fool. And not 'nice' shorts - we are talking about the tight short coach's shorts that don't look good on anyone, much less a 50 pounds overweight 50 year olds. He would pick up his ball, go through an indescribable pre shot routine. He would slowly (and I mean slowly) walk up to about 5-6 feet from the line. He would then take a good 30 secs-1 min getting his ball in just the right place. Finally he would take 3 very slow tiny steps and walk out of the shot to the right every time.
If I bowled next to him, I would just sit down until he came back - my back would stiffen up too much waiting for this to happen.
ON EDIT - For full visual effect, I should point out that this guy is a dead ringer for an overweight Cliff Clavin
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Andy
Las Vegas, NV
Edited on 4/6/2007 10:34 AM
Post by: ThongPrincess on April 06, 2007, 10:40:19 AM
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"I cannot change the direction of the wind but I can adjust my sails to reach my destination." Jimmy Dean
http://www.allbowling.com/journal/public.php?uid=156&leagueid=53
Post by: Phoneman on April 06, 2007, 10:43:46 AM
Post by: Gene J Kanak on April 06, 2007, 10:45:45 AM
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I've only bowled 300, but I've benched 345
http://members.bowl.com/FindAMember/memberView.aspx?mp=519&ms=9130&s=2006-2007
Post by: NateNice on April 06, 2007, 10:48:49 AM
Post by: Phoneman on April 06, 2007, 10:52:37 AM
Post by: myrddin97 on April 06, 2007, 10:55:25 AM
Post by: Martin710 on April 06, 2007, 11:09:44 AM
Post by: ThongPrincess on April 06, 2007, 11:14:33 AM
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"I cannot change the direction of the wind but I can adjust my sails to reach my destination." Jimmy Dean
http://www.allbowling.com/journal/public.php?uid=156&leagueid=53
Post by: baccala8872 on April 06, 2007, 11:19:31 AM
That Village People observation is one of the funniest things I've ever read!!
Good stuff!!
Post by: Crankenstein300 on April 06, 2007, 11:21:34 AM
Post by: RadioActive on April 06, 2007, 11:43:16 AM
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The man is back!
Post by: A K A on April 06, 2007, 12:11:04 PM
Post by: Ragnar on April 06, 2007, 12:20:42 PM
quote:
I am sure someone other than me has a no thumber in their league that can't get within a foot of the 10 pin, we just tell him to speed the game up and push the reset button.
He's on my Tuesday night team.
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"I do desire that we may be better strangers." Willie the Shake, As You Like it(III,ii)
"I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are, Dimitri."
Post by: Hogsharley on April 06, 2007, 12:21:48 PM
Well, 2 weeks ago as the league was winding down, this guy ran out his shot for 6 lanes! That's right, I said 6. He's lucky that my friend was on the approach at the time because he would have to have a bowling ball surgically removed from one of his orafices. I found out later that he didn't even win the game or his match point. He only won the handicap pot, maybe $40-$50.
Last week they were playing on the far end of the alley and there they are, hootin' and hoolering again. I find out after scores are posted that they only won 2 or 27 points. LOL
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3 holes of fun!!
Post by: Fluff E Bunnie on April 06, 2007, 01:01:05 PM
They complain about the amount of balls you have on the ball rack, but they are taking up half of the thing themselves. They don't realize that a team of lower average bowlers may need a spare ball more than them since they are not throwing constant strikes.
They strut around like they are bowling gods but miss 3 out of 4 ten pins (Hmm... where's that spare ball?). Note: A bowler trying to be intimidating is the funniest sight on Earth to behold.
They are angry after every single shot.
They make little comments to each other like little cowards but they can't say anything to your face.
When you proceed to rock them so hard with your "too many balls" they kick the cover off the ball return and the league secretary has to come over and discipline them.
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Thunderstruck $olid
Post by: triggerman on April 06, 2007, 01:02:10 PM
oh wait that is my team
these are funny we have all those guys in my leagues
how bout the "we are in last place and dont give a squat" team
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www.bowlingballexchange.com
Triggerman
F.O.S Loud, F.O.S. Proud
Lane #1 Baby
Post by: cnimsk on April 06, 2007, 01:02:38 PM
Or the "No humor" team. The team that can't take a joke if their lives depended upon it. The team that never says congratulations to another teams bowler and are surly all the time.
Chuck
Edited on 4/6/2007 1:02 PM
Post by: Spider Ball Bowler on April 06, 2007, 01:03:23 PM
There is one team on my Monday night league that always has one or two guys show up in the 4th frame.
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Formerly SGC300
Post by: a_ak57 on April 06, 2007, 01:09:14 PM
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- Andy
Post by: Scolai on April 06, 2007, 01:19:59 PM
Another guy that bowls on the late league after ours is "The Jumper". His pivot step launches him about 6-8" into the air, and he lands/slides and releases the ball all at the same time with about 2 revs.
Their unusual bowling styles notwithstanding, they're pretty good guys all the same.
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Namaste.
ScolaÃ
/|\
Scolaà <--- The bowler formerly known as Pin-nut.
Post by: KDawg77 on April 06, 2007, 01:25:08 PM
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You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel. Congratulations.
http://www.myspace.com/lefthandedhammerpride
http://members.bowl.com/FindAMember/memberView.aspx?mp=418&ms=2006&s=2006-2007
Edited on 4/8/2008 12:59 PM
Post by: Let It Bleed on April 06, 2007, 01:29:54 PM
quote:
--The drunk team and stoner team. Best nights are when they play each other. It's like a substance-abuse fest. Nothing but empty beer bottles and bags of Cool Ranch Doritos laying around.
priceless...we actually call a team "Team Ganja"...
they got out to lanes 41-42 (house only goes up to 40) for team meetings...
after those meetings...they trip EVERY 4 pin...and when they start carrying dirty, you hear them yell over the entire league...it's awesome
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"Chicks dig the trip 4" -Randy Pederson
Post by: Easy10pins on April 06, 2007, 01:32:51 PM
Last night the opposing team kept throwing out those nifty one liner catch phases...
"Man on the HOOK!"
"You got robbed"
"Delivery Official"
"10 in the pit"
And they would say it loud enough to hear throughout the center.
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The bowler formerly known as BrunsRod.
Solid 7 Pin?? 299 Game??!! WTF
Post by: Scolai on April 06, 2007, 01:33:07 PM
"Hairy butt-crack guy" - He's the guy whose pants always creep down about 2-3" when he throws the ball, revealing two very disturbing facts: 1) he doesn't wear underwear to the bowl and 2) he's got a lot of hair "back there". This is the guy that keeps me standing with my back to the approach until it's my turn. Gods forbid I ever have to bowl at the same time as him. I'm weirding out even as I type this.
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Namaste.
ScolaÃ
/|\
Scolaà <--- The bowler formerly known as Pin-nut.
Post by: KDawg77 on April 06, 2007, 01:35:58 PM
"The Used-To-Be": The guy who can't bowl worth a damn, yet claims all these great feats in his younger days.
"The 'The Owner Rigged The Shot' Guy": In my case, it's the same same as above. He constatly claims that during city tournament, the proprietor dressed the lane to better his and his team's chances.
--------------------
You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel. Congratulations.
http://www.myspace.com/lefthandedhammerpride
http://members.bowl.com/FindAMember/memberView.aspx?mp=418&ms=2006&s=2006-2007
Post by: chitown on April 06, 2007, 02:09:03 PM
I bowl on a big money, though lane patterns league. We use 4 patterns thru out the season. Well there's this older guy on my league that uses 1 bowling ball for every pattern. He uses the old LT 48 Johnny Patraglia urethane. That's all he uses!
Well he holds one of the highest avg. in the 24 team, 5 men per team league, with that one single ball. SO here I am looking at my 4 ball arsenal I brought with and looking at his one ball and wondering how in the hell he kicks everyones butt. lol
I'm sure there's a guy like this on some leagues across the country.
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HAMMER NO MERCY is Un-freaking real! Using this ball is like cheating!
Post by: strikealot on April 06, 2007, 02:36:07 PM
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Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now!
myspace profile...
http://www.myspace.com/chad__gordon
http://
current arsenal
lane 1
super carbide bomb
solid cobalt
tsunami
black xxxl
hammer
raw toxic
ebonite
total NV
black ice
MEMBER OF THE F.O.S.
Post by: Easy10pins on April 06, 2007, 02:47:35 PM
Balls 4 Days - Brings 12 or more balls to league night and gets mad when none of them works for him.
Lane#1 Whore - This guy literally has every ball ever made by Lane1 and carries all of them in his car. He can be seen running out to his car between shots to swap out balls.
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The bowler formerly known as BrunsRod.
Solid 7 Pin?? 299 Game??!! WTF
Post by: Fluff E Bunnie on April 06, 2007, 03:01:15 PM
quote:
how about the team that brings all 15 of there kids to the center while the kids scream all night right behind your pair..
Ah yes the classic nursery bowling scenario. Love it.
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Thunderstruck $olid
Post by: KDawg77 on April 06, 2007, 03:02:55 PM
--------------------
You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel. Congratulations.
http://www.myspace.com/lefthandedhammerpride
http://members.bowl.com/FindAMember/memberView.aspx?mp=418&ms=2006&s=2006-2007
Post by: bamaster on April 06, 2007, 03:30:35 PM
The Goth Team: the team with more rivets in their body than a Spitfire. They all share the same Skull Vis-a-Ball.
Dirty Men Team: they play cards with the porno deck of cards. They tell you the dirty joke-o-the-week if you want to hear or not.
More Balls That Sense Team: this team has more bowling balls in their Donkey rollers than there are frames being bowled. They can be seen at the ball polishing machine 30 minutes before practice starts polishing a AMF XS.
Anti-Resin Team: grown men with equipment discontinued before they started bowling. The team captain thrown a Yellow Dot bleeder and the young gun throws a Wine U-Dot. All balls were bought from the same garage sale.
The One Hot Chick Team: this is the team everyone wants to bowl because it has the only hot chick in the league. She wears a miniskirt and a shirt shirt with no bra. No one can recall the other team members, but yeah, even I want to bowl that team.
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Tony
My Bowling Classifieds (http://"http://www.allbowling.com/classifieds/showcat.php?cat=500&ppuser=3")
My Bowling Journal (http://"http://www.allbowling.com/journal/public.php?uid=3&leagueid=1") | My Ball Registry & Grip Specs (http://"http://www.allbowling.com/registry/public.php?regid=5")
Post by: BrunsMike on April 06, 2007, 03:53:03 PM
We also have a Team "The Human Rain Delay Team". Only our version is totally different. Actually this team is 2 teams in 1. The Drinking Team is also the Human Rain Delay Team. After every 5th frame the entire team gets up and goes to the wash room to drain their kidneys and returns 5-10 mintues later completely forgetting whos turn it is next.
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Mike Zadler
Using the best brand in the nation, BRUNSWICK!!!
Below, my stats from previous seasons:
http://members.bowl.com/FindAMember/memberView.aspx?ms=12886&mp=552&s=2005-2006
Winter season averages at Sunset Lanes in Waukegan IL.
Wed. Nite Ave: 200
Thur. Nite Ave: 217
http://www.BrunsNick.com
Post by: ThongPrincess on April 06, 2007, 04:17:57 PM
It is especially annoying when we bowl 13-14 and they are on 11-12
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"I cannot change the direction of the wind but I can adjust my sails to reach my destination." Jimmy Dean
http://www.allbowling.com/journal/public.php?uid=156&leagueid=53
Post by: BrianCRX90 on April 06, 2007, 04:20:13 PM
Post by: mainzer on April 06, 2007, 04:23:25 PM
We have I don't care if we win or lose team and the Team's name is '' Don't care'' this is also the drinking team with a bowling problem squad.
we are the loud team in the league.
I have been a member of the ball a week club for the last couple of months.
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Mainzerpower
Post by: nutsforbowling on April 06, 2007, 04:44:23 PM
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If I could carry the 10, I'd be dangerous.
Post by: keeones23 on April 06, 2007, 04:51:29 PM
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(\ /)
( . .)
c(')(')
Cute Bunny! copy bunny into sig to help him achieve world domination
http://www.putfile.com/keeones
Post by: scooter19530 on April 06, 2007, 05:26:09 PM
how about the, i am going to give the pins the finger everytime i don't get a strike guy, even if he doesn't touch the headpin.
one team will high 5 you so hard you'll swear they dislocated your shoulder (always remember to use your non-bowling arm when giving that high 5.
2 guys on one of the better teams in our league thought it would be cool to make up their own ritual. a double high 5, roll the arms down while still keeping in contact with each other, then snap their fingers, then chest bump. i swear to god, they are so close the whole time you are waiting for them to swap spit as a grand finale. (not that there is anything wrong with that).
then there is the guy who wraps the ball completely around his back, cranks it so hard you hope he just hits the right lane. i ask what mark he is shooting at and confessesthat he "aiming between 15 and 25". his scores for the night 148-250-165. and he has 2 300's. every game is an adventure, every shot a mystery. it's like a car wreck, you can't look away.
how about the guy who wears his shirts 2 sizes too small to show his "guns" to the girls.
Post by: djones on April 06, 2007, 05:53:34 PM
I like the guy who takes forever to throw a practice ball and keeping the rest of us from getting warm. Actually I hate this guy because most of them are not getting lined up as they are the guys who never move anyway.
One who I don't think has been mentioned is stand at the front of the ball return guy waiting for his ball to come back so he can throw the spare. He is standing in front of most bowlers so they have to wait.
Post by: charlest on April 06, 2007, 06:20:12 PM
"wrong foot slide, yet I am a lefty" bowler?
or
"The fidgeting, 3 step backward dancer" -
the guy who stand there for 30 - 40 seconds (which can seem like an eternity on the approach) fidgeting with his fingers in all 3 holes, taking them in and out, in and out. THEN, it looks like he's ready to go, he takes 2 steps forward. You see this and since you next to go, you step up onto your approach to get ready ...BUT he then takes THREE steps backward to get into a normal approach.
You stand there, jaw agape, wondering, "What the pluck will he do next??" and "what do I do now that I'm up here?" Quickly you step back off the approach. Then he goes, while you're 1 step from getting off your approach and you should be stepping up onto it.
After 2 or 3 weeks of this nonsense, you just stand there staring at his routine.
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"None are so blind as those who will not see."
Post by: Pat Patterson on April 06, 2007, 06:22:01 PM
What about the "Dinosaur Team"? Guys as old as dirt and there bowling equipment too. Old Black Angles, Grey Angles, LT-48's, Manhattan Rubber, one guy even throws a Dick Weber 5 Star.
On the Thursday night league there is a team, I'm assuming are big fans of Larry "the Cable Guy", they named there team "Git-R-Done" and they all wear black SLEEVE-LESS" bowling shirts complete with the team name on the back. Hilarous!
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Pat Patterson
Post by: ramimac on April 06, 2007, 06:46:27 PM
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Member of F.O.S.
Solid Uranium
H2O
Bullet
Available for trade or sale
Post by: scooter19530 on April 06, 2007, 06:47:57 PM
Post by: youthbowl on April 06, 2007, 07:01:11 PM
On my team one of our guys sets his alarm clock for 15 min before the league starts, flies across town, misses practice to order food, and whines when he didn't know that we could've entered a tournament or something.
Theres also a guy that uses both hands to bowl and no fingers. So he hops 3 times to get to the foul line then just tosses the ball out there. He has a blue and red ball, not sure what kind they are but it doesn't really matter to him. He uses a different one for strikes every week. Also, if he throws a gutter ball, which happens a lot, he'll pick up his spare ball of the week and throw it for his strike ball.
Theres one other guy in my league, the one that tosses the ball 15 feet out on the lane. He averages about 160 but has been getting better I'll give him that, but he should also pay for the craters in the lanes. I think he throws a 16lb ball and just chucks it every shot. I don't think he's ever set the ball down smoothly before and if he did it was on accident.
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AIM=donutsbrian
Edited on 4/6/2007 7:03 PM
Post by: MIBowler on April 06, 2007, 08:19:28 PM
Post by: Pat Patterson on April 06, 2007, 11:23:28 PM
quote:
speaking of the "stinkie team". we had them in our league too, they were also known as the "make-out"team. they would throw their shot, then go back and suck face with some NASTY chick. we think it might've been his cousin. and to think the dad with all 4 of his teeth in place actually fornicated with something to produce a son. we couldn't stand to bowl them, then to see him making out was nausiating. a dad, his 2 sons and a female of some sort. they wore their bowling shirts religiously every week and never did wash them. even the stains were there all year.
WOW! The dad actual had 4 teeth, that's 1 more the daddy on the team I spoke of. LOL
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Pat Patterson
Post by: ebo4life on April 07, 2007, 12:04:50 AM
1) 36 bowling balls---1 for each frame
2) Sponsors a state or national team-----4 230+ average bowlers along with his 165 average---and HE takes credit when they win.
3) Gets in anywhere from 80-100$ worth of brackets and/or card games every night---and brags when he wins just one of them
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Ebonite born---Ebonite bred-----if they sell out I'll be Ebonite dead
Post by: ThongPrincess on April 07, 2007, 12:39:27 AM
I can't wait for the end of the season ... only 4 weeks left!
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"I cannot change the direction of the wind but I can adjust my sails to reach my destination." Jimmy Dean
http://www.allbowling.com/journal/public.php?uid=156&leagueid=53
Post by: RedGhost on April 07, 2007, 05:58:15 AM
THe obligatory couple of people who swear after every frame but one new one is:
"The Bundy's" : There is a team of two couples that when someone throws a strike, a "Steeeeee-rike" is yelled audible throughout the league and one of the guys does the "4 touchdowns in one game" pose.
Hilarious to see. Not too bad as all the team members are 130 or under; in fact, some of the other bowlers have mimicked them
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Ex astris, Scientia.
Post by: rackattack on April 07, 2007, 09:33:32 AM
This guy is the master of the timely Greek church or washout.Takes pride in missing those spares by just a little bit and proudly proclaimes he hits every pin he aims at.
Uses old school equipment until his average is well established then shows up with new high end gear and suddenly "finds" the shot.The only tell tale are the expensive 'Roos or Dexters he shoes up with.
His name can be found atop the leader boards of all the handicap tournaments that have not yet rerated him.
His philosophy is I didn't make the system I just play it.
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It's all about the X
Edited on 4/7/2007 1:17 PM
Post by: baltimora on April 07, 2007, 10:23:13 AM
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Post by: northface28 on April 07, 2007, 11:51:51 AM
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Perception is NOT reality.
My Pics http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/northface28/album?.dir=/9f09&.src=ph
Post by: shelley on April 07, 2007, 12:13:18 PM
The extremely friendly minister that walks up and down the alley greeting everyone by name with a smile big enough to be on TV (he's actually a really nice guy).
The porno card team (that's us, I run a card game) and the kitty team (also us, but our rules aren't that complicated).
The team of guys that each take maybe an extra 10-15 seconds on the approach every frame. Not so much to be really obnoxious, and they're always there when it's their turn. But those 10 seconds per ball per man add up to 20-30 minutes at the end of the night.
We have the goober/painful-to-watch guy on Wednesday night in my mixed league. No one wants to talk to him but he thinks he's their best friend. His approach is a little sequence of hunched over hops and skips, the whole time holding his ball straight down while twisting his wrist back and forth like he's using a rachetting screwdriver. Throws his 12# ball straight, but complains about the oil and carry. He's also on the never-up-when-it's-their-turn team who spend most of the first game eating or waiting at the snack bar, then gets snippy when you complain (who orders a damn ice cream cone while bowling?). A lot of folks hope they don't come back, but my opinion is that the more teams the better. They pay into the prize fund as much as everyone else (and are in the middle of the standings anyway).
We used to have the guy who complained about something every single week. If it wasn't the approaches it was the pins. If it wasn't the pins it was the oil pattern. If it wasn't the pattern it was the the other team. Frankly, we have a nice bowling alley. It's only been open about seven years, so the equipment is new, the synthetic lanes are in good shape, the oil is fair and mostly consistent. Could use new pins on a more regular basis, but it's a nice house. He has no real reason to complain. He was a pretty good bowler, if a bit of a hack. Loved the sound of his own voice and would argue about anything and everything. We lost a rules dispute largely because he was the one who did the disputing. If he weren't quite as much of a jackhole, we probably could have won.
SH
Post by: laneman on April 07, 2007, 12:30:39 PM
After every shot all you hear is "Jesus Christ"
Post by: rackattack on April 07, 2007, 01:23:09 PM
quote:
How about the "religious" bowler..
After every shot all you hear is "Jesus Christ"
LOL
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It's all about the X
Post by: LuvThatWhiteDot on April 07, 2007, 02:00:36 PM
P.S. -- I'm a shorts wearer year round (but cheat and wear jeans in and out of the building before bowling. I only bowl in pants at USBCs)
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White Dot
I want Death by Chocolate for dessert, but only enough to put me in critical condition.
"I wish I was in Tijuana...eating barbequed iguana..."
GO LEAFS GO!!
http://www.allbowling.com/journal/public.php?uid=777&leagueid=1151
Post by: laneman on April 07, 2007, 02:09:59 PM
Post by: williamrox1 on April 07, 2007, 08:02:14 PM
Or the team that is arrange it the most crappy format. Strikers, truly irrelevant to their bowling. Nick, lil kid, hooks a maxim avgs 126. Robbie lil kid, throws a backup Rock Vis Ball, avgs 134. Eric, lil kid, lefty sucks. When you are on the approach about to throw a shoot, he grabs his 6lb Power Groove, yells "You can suck my toe" and goes through his one step approach. Has no hook and releays on handicap.
I dont know where my team would rank.
Me, avg 181, throwin 20-10 hook, i throw handshake release, can change steps in my approach to deal with oil. Forward or backwards. Start in the middle. 15lb Nomercy, punsiher, infinite one, spare, monster
Chuck, avg 165, throwin 30-5 hook. runs to the line, releases like amleto moncelli, awesome hook, black widow, lane1 cystal ball
Zach, avg 156, thowin up 5 hook. Suitcases the ball. Columbia 300 Wicked
Sterling, (if he ever shows up) avgs 134. Helicopter release. AMF Victory SPT.
We are in 2nd place. I throw one or two 200s at league as does chuck.
--------------------
"Nobody beats you, you beat yourself." "The worst anyone can do is tie with you"
Post by: ThongPrincess on April 07, 2007, 08:57:09 PM
Again, I can't wait for the season to end May 20th. The house has got me a permanent sub so at least the team is legal.
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"I cannot change the direction of the wind but I can adjust my sails to reach my destination." Jimmy Dean
http://www.allbowling.com/journal/public.php?uid=156&leagueid=53
Post by: djfettes on April 08, 2007, 02:04:28 AM
I am also wear shorts year round, in Alaska no less.
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Dan Fettes
Elite Blue Alien
Storm Domination
Track Tritan
Good ole blue dot
Post by: Martin710 on April 08, 2007, 09:58:57 AM
Post by: justdale on April 08, 2007, 10:14:48 AM
Post by: Tommy32 on April 08, 2007, 10:18:13 AM
Here are a couple, want about the "Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda" guy, the one who coulda have hit the shot but shoulda brought the ball that he left home or woulda have used another ball except the inserts are too worn or it needs some work on the thumb.
Then you have the "Jump On Your Line" guy. The one that watches someone who is doing pretty good, jumps on your line and tells that he do it because you were striking, with a sanded bowl totally blowing your shot.
Post by: burly on April 08, 2007, 10:19:00 AM
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###############################################
check my profile for my stats
Post by: scooter19530 on April 08, 2007, 12:06:26 PM
Post by: Crankenstein300 on April 08, 2007, 01:07:01 PM
Guy I call "Cadillac Man" because he has the old Cadillac Fleetwood with the huge trunk, and then puts his entire arsenal in the back, about 45 balls deep. Shows up at league or a tournament, pulls out the donkee 6 ball roller and picks out wht he's going to use for the day.
Also the "I No Move" team. Regardless of if they are missing the headpin or splitting all night, they refuse to move their shot on the lane. Usually followed by moaning and groaning that the house changed the shot on them. The proprietor loves these guys as he usually gets an earful from one or more of them after league about how bad the lanes were.
Post by: sirguy on April 08, 2007, 04:19:24 PM
How about the "Holy Rollers"..
These guys have a team prayer before the match starts. Hand holding in a circle and your team is invited. I can see praying in football with all the injuries. but bowling? I have yet to see a bowler carried out of the alley on stretcher from a bowling related injury.
I can hear God now (I have given thee "THS" and thou aren't satisfied.)
The Bad Advice Team/Guy
This guy may be on your team or the opposition and actually means well with gems like these
-(To a bowler who rolls a straight ball) You need to move more to the left because the lanes are drying out.
-(To a bowlers who is dropping his ball on release) You don't need tape just hold the ball tighter during your release.
The "In Love" team.
At least two members are dating or sleeping together. Public displays of affection and pet names are the order of the day. The only thing worse than bowling "Love American Style" is actually being on the team. Especially if the breakup happens during the season. Try filling a womens position on the roster at mid season.
The Moon Man
Showing Split on every shot before the ball touches the lane. It seems no pants can contain his bulbous physique.
Post by: bamaster on April 09, 2007, 09:36:01 AM
On this one league a long time ago we had "the gay team". These guys, as super nice as they were, were flaming, swishy, lispy, oh-no-you-didn't, gay. Three of them were terrible bowlers, house balls and house shoes. But the other two were pretty good. It was easy to laugh about them, until you bowled them. They had a ton of handicap and the two good bowlers could pop off big scores.
I remember one Halloween two of them came in drag. It was over the top, but man it was funny. The manager made an announcement over the speakers that no heels were to be worn on the lanes. Haha!
--------------------
Tony
My Bowling Classifieds (http://"http://www.allbowling.com/classifieds/showcat.php?cat=500&ppuser=3")
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Post by: splendorlex on April 09, 2007, 10:14:04 AM
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Mr. Lebowski, this is Bill Salnicker with the Southern Cal Bowling League, and I just got a, an informal report, that a member of your team, uh, Walter Sobchak, drew a firearm during league play. If this is true of course, it contravenes a number of the league's by-laws, and article 27 of the league...
I invented America.
Post by: jbruno6 on April 09, 2007, 10:36:42 AM
The "Late Team Member Every Week" Guy: shows up in the 3rd, and with no practice, throw 2 on the over, and one right through the eye for a triple.
The "Fake Injury" guy: Whenever he throws a bad shot, either limps from the "bad knee", or the "sore wrist"
The "Calculate His Average Right After Bowling" Guy: This guy brings his calculator and starts punching in numbers right after league is completed.
The "Bring His Whole Family to Watch" Guy: they take up all the chairs in the back because they are watching their "future star" (on a house shot, spraying it all over)
The "These alleys are flyin'" Guy: Dumping it into the dry at 10 MPH, rolling out, and getting disgusted with, "I can't keep it on the lane"
Post by: JoeBowler on April 09, 2007, 10:53:20 AM
He stands at teh line, shuffles his feet and his right leg steps backward as he releases the ball.
BTW he averages around 190 and has shot 300 (2 or 3 times) and an 800 about 10 years ago.
Post by: Dysturbed on April 09, 2007, 11:17:51 AM
I also like the guy that is up checking the approaches and doing about 5 rehearsal slides 20 minutes before practice even starts.
--------------------
Get on the fastTRACK to success
http://www.trackbowling.com
great forum for you Piston fans
http://www.pistonstalk.com
Post by: Jepp114 on April 09, 2007, 11:38:18 AM
quote:
I also like the guy that is up checking the approaches and doing about 5 rehearsal slides 20 minutes before practice even starts.
That's ME.
What? I like to be early.
Post by: jbruno6 on April 09, 2007, 11:41:13 AM
Quote
great topic. I like to add the " 5 minutes to strap on all his gear guy" We have this guy on our team. We affectionately call him the 6 million dollar man. First he tapes up his wrists, then puts on his elbow sleeve, then the forearm band, his kneebrace and finally his glove that looks like it came straight from Robocop's hand. I swear by the time he gets all strapped in he has time to throw one practice ball.
I also like the guy that is up checking the approaches and doing about 5 rehearsal slides 20 minutes before practice even starts.
--------------------
Get on the fastTRACK to success
Dydsturbed,
Yes, those guys are great. I'm dying over here, there is one guy who is sliding on the approaches 20 minutes before practice. I love that guy. How about "Extremely high backswing with no revs" Guy? this guy's ball is at the ceiling like Rudy Revs, you are expecting him to tear the cover off of the ball, and then....the elbow breaks down, all three fingers at once, the ball is squrreling down the lane leaving 5-7's.
Post by: alcornel on April 09, 2007, 11:50:56 AM
quote:
I also like the guy that is up checking the approaches and doing about 5 rehearsal slides 20 minutes before practice even starts.
http://www.pistonstalk.com
In the league I bowl in tonight we have 4 or 5 of these guys. One of them typically gets someone from the alley to come down to 'clean' the slide area. Of course this guy plants and doesn't slide anyway
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Andy
Las Vegas, NV
Post by: jbruno6 on April 09, 2007, 12:04:53 PM
"Walk Around the Center Telling Everyone He Would Never Come Back to Bowling Because the Shot is Too Easy" Guy: This guy wanders around saying the shot is a joke, meanwhile all the oldtimers still bowling say the guy was NEVER good, he just likes to make believe he was old time talent. These guys can't come back because they have exaggerated so many stories, that the truth will be exposed if they ever laced them up again.
Post by: Nodsleinad on April 09, 2007, 12:52:45 PM
N;-)
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LTBOCSFM
Post by: phil1776 on April 09, 2007, 02:17:30 PM
three sons which all look like they crawled out from under a rock
somewhere in Bugtussel, USA. Had not washed in two weeks. And a
really pretty daughter-in-law that's just as dumb as a bowl of
grits. All pack up in the family truck and come down from the
mountains once a week for league night.
Post by: Nodsleinad on April 09, 2007, 02:19:46 PM
quote:
We had the "Darling family" from Andy Griffith show. A dad, his
three sons which all look like they crawled out from under a rock
somewhere in Bugtussel, USA. Had not washed in two weeks. And a
really pretty daughter-in-law that's just as dumb as a bowl of
grits. All pack up in the family truck and come down from the
mountains once a week for league night.
Did they win the league? That would be par for norm in my world.
N;-)
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LTBOCSFM
Post by: Nodsleinad on April 09, 2007, 02:28:21 PM
quote:
And you know what, I wouldn't trade them for anything........!!!!
--The old dude who has memorized the schedule about 6 weeks in advance, and tells you what lanes he is on when he is standing in front of you as you are handing out the lane assignments for the night.
--The guy who, at the end of the night, gives you the entire blow-by-blow account of every shot he threw of every frame. The series amounts to 512 (which we re-named our team "512" 5 years ago--the guy still has no idea that it's a playful rib at him) or something in that ballpark.
--The drunk team and stoner team. Best nights are when they play each other. It's like a substance-abuse fest. Nothing but empty beer bottles and bags of Cool Ranch Doritos laying around.
--The team that refuses to move. These are the guys still using the BUD II, or on the other end of the spectrum, Angular One's, and will be damned if they move even 1/4 of a board to the left as they whiff the head pin time and time again. Their saving grace is the crossover light mixer strike, which convinces them that they are lined in.
--The Human Rain Delay team. We have a guy who picks up his ball, curls it to his bicep, closes his eyes to visualize his shot, hyperextends his bowling arm to hold the ball dead straight out, and only then begins his approach. If he ever won a PBA telecast, he would take home about $45.00. This team has the obligatory old dude that stands there pondering his 6-pin conversion, only to throw a shot that would convert the 7-pin.
--The No Business Using That team. You know this team. The four guys collectively averaging 660, but all using Total NV's, and absolutely abusing the head pin by bashing it in the face all night. See also: Refuse To Move Team (above)
--The 100-mph Team. The team of Plastic Fireballers whizzing the ball at the head pin at Mach 3, hitting the 1-3 and not understanding why they aren't carrying, and becoming more furious by the minute.
--The Team That Announces Everything. "Congratulations to XXXXX, with a 203 game."
--The Scoreboard Creepers. These guys become more prevalent as the season winds down. They hawk the back of your pair to see how you are doing against your opponents. They are usually rosin bag target practice for us. Playfully, of course.
--The Team with the Kiddy. They have so many rules and fines, that Stephen Hawking is the only other guy that could possibly understand how much you or your teammates pay on a turkey, or an open, or a beer frame, or a washout conversion, or not getting the wood on a split, or not quacking and flapping your arms on a double, etc. Their pair usually sounds like a generous slot machine in Atlantic City.
--The Owner's Team. Usually stacked, with the absolute biggest cake shot ever on that pair for the night.
And because of these guys is the reason why I've been in this league for 1/3 of my entire life.
Don't forget these guys
(1)Reggie Rulebook. The guy who wants the other team to forfeit because the team captain did not sign the recap sheet.
(2)Team 3M. The whole team pulls out their scotch brite pads before bowling and sand the wiz out of the ball they are using and effectively sops up every bit of oil the lane had in about 3 frames. Of course the ball stops moving the 3 boards it previously hooked so they SNEAK off to rehit the ball again and again all night long.
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LTBOCSFM
Post by: Ragnar on April 09, 2007, 02:33:36 PM
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"I do desire that we may be better strangers." Willie the Shake, As You Like it(III,ii)
"I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are, Dimitri."
Post by: BrianCRX90 on April 09, 2007, 04:41:22 PM
quote:
How about the "religious" bowler..
After every shot all you hear is "Jesus Christ"
lol!!!
What about the "sacreligious bowler"
After every shot all you hear is "God DAMNIT!!"
Post by: LuvThatWhiteDot on April 09, 2007, 05:10:51 PM
Yo Joe, no waiting on Lane 27!
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White Dot
I want Death by Chocolate for dessert, but only enough to put me in critical condition.
"I wish I was in Tijuana...eating barbequed iguana..."
GO LEAFS GO!!
http://www.allbowling.com/journal/public.php?uid=777&leagueid=1151
Post by: Dysturbed on April 09, 2007, 05:11:16 PM
Edited on 4/9/2007 5:18 PM
Post by: Martin710 on April 10, 2007, 08:01:24 AM
Post by: Djarum on April 10, 2007, 08:31:21 AM
Dj
--------------------
The views and opinions of Djarum expressed on BallReviews.com do not necessarily state or reflect those of the BallReviews.com.
Post by: nutsforbowling on April 10, 2007, 08:54:02 AM
Now we have a guy on the league we have nicknamed "Man Mountain". who probably puts more revs on the ball than anyone in the league, except he can't get his arms to move past his waist!!!!!!
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If I could carry the 10, I'd be dangerous.
Post by: Martin710 on April 10, 2007, 02:28:09 PM
1- Mr. "Know it all": This mediocre bowler who does not know the square root of F***all about the bowling technique, gives advice to low average and high average bowlers alike.
2-The "Talker": This guy just talks all the time on any subject bowling and non bowling related. But you don't really mind him, he's part of the ambient noise.
Post by: metallicaaaaaaa on April 10, 2007, 02:37:55 PM
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"We don't have a cow...we have a bull!"
Post by: bstone on April 10, 2007, 11:31:21 PM
shoot for the set of pins in the middle guy- the guy so drunk he sees 3 racks of pins
pinch the waitress team- the team in the league that gets the fastest bar service because they are flirting with the waitress the whole night(though shes probably getting very good tips)
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"The difference betwen porcupines and bowling centers is that porcupines have pricks on the outside."-unknown-I borrowed it from someone else
Post by: mainzer on April 08, 2008, 12:51:45 PM
Hi average bowlers in a handicap league team getting killed- this was my team this year won a total of only 21 points the whole second half
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Mainzerpower
Edited on 4/9/2008 10:21 AM
Post by: stormslinger on April 08, 2008, 01:10:56 PM
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R.I.P. BIG ERN
Post by: NicholasE on April 08, 2008, 01:16:58 PM
Don't try to play smart and cross over and get lucky as well because it doesn't work like that, no not against these lucky guys. Nope you cross over hit the face of the head pin and your looking at a nice fat split.
Just venting...sorry. lol
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Throwing hambones since 2005.
www.myspace.com/nestes12
Edited on 4/8/2008 1:17 PM
Post by: MelvinBrunsTrack on April 08, 2008, 01:26:29 PM
Post by: NicholasE on April 08, 2008, 01:28:27 PM
quote:
How about the slow rollers. No disrespect.When your league is over around 8:45 pm and everyone is finish and getting ready to leave. You're just started your 3rd game.
LOL yeah cause sometimes they are the team with the A-hole that thinks he needs to go to the bar every frame and hang out or something while everyone is looking in circles around the lanes trying to find the guy...man that really grinds my gears..lol
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Throwing hambones since 2005.
www.myspace.com/nestes12
Post by: xTOMMYxIRISHx on April 08, 2008, 02:04:45 PM
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HOW DID I GET THAT FAST 7?
Post by: pop_1 on April 08, 2008, 02:11:22 PM
Also, this is the same team that accuses everyone of sandbagging, but fail to see it when they do it.
Post by: baccala8872 on April 08, 2008, 02:12:35 PM
--The team that can barely make practice on time because of their jobs. Most of the time, they don't have time to change. So, they come dressed in scrubs, mechanic uniform, etc. We call them "The Village People".
--The team that's bowled together for years, yet the two factions of two guys each on the team can't stand each other.
--From older WWF fame, there is a team that we call "The Oddities". Triple striped tube socks pulled up to the knee, tucked in t-shirt with holes and fading [t-shirt circa the Reagan era], another two little slovenly guys, and the kid who is the carbon copy of his tube socked dad.
--The Too-Talented for Their Own Good Team. This is the team of young 20-somethings that have so much talent that it's disgusting, yet are more interested in cutting up and drinking like fish and being buffoons instead of bowling. This is one of the more aggravating teams because they have more talent in their pinkies than I have in my entire body and just won't use it.
--The All-Cliche Team. No matter the shot, they have a way-overused saying. "The X looks good up there", "Better to be lucky than good", and "Line drive in the scorebook" are the highlight lines. This team makes you physically ill.
--The Cleavers. This team rules. No matter if they win 25-3 or lose 27-1, they cheerfully walk their sheets over to you at the end of the night and wish you good night.
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If I ever saw an amputee being hanged, I'd just yell out letters. --DM
Post by: ebo4life on April 08, 2008, 02:15:20 PM
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Ebonite born---Ebonite bred-----if they sell out I'll be Ebonite dead
Edited on 4/15/2008 11:55 AM
Post by: baltimora on April 08, 2008, 08:44:49 PM
Hell yeah. I met him last week. High rev player who can hook 1/2 the lane spraying pins while loudly telling the world lanes are too easy and they should return to old style with lacquer and urethane balls. And I am sitting there alternately wanting to barf my dinner and feeling oddly envious as the only time I spray anything is when someone tells a dirty joke while I am drinking my Jack and Diet Coke....
Oh, and don't forget the leave towel, rosin bag, wrist support, etc on the ball return guy. I like to use the air dryer on ball return (when it is working) and I have to dig for gold just to find it when I am bowling him. I swear I am going to glue a cup holder onto ball return one day to accomodate him.
Edited on 4/8/2008 8:49 PM
Post by: dicnic on April 08, 2008, 08:54:07 PM
Then they bury one and leave a stone 8 and do not understand where the ball went.
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Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Post by: DON DRAPER on April 08, 2008, 09:27:20 PM
Post by: tburky on April 08, 2008, 09:34:05 PM
Post by: Injury on April 14, 2008, 01:55:44 AM
The It can't possibly be me team - all of them bring 6 balls each week, shooting on the same lanes as the team beating them. Yet it's always wrong equipment or crappy lanes or a mixture of both with "I brought the wrong equpment for these lanes".
Post by: AdrianS on April 14, 2008, 03:23:32 AM
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Time for some REAL bowling!!!
Post by: Mark T. Trgovac on April 14, 2008, 04:37:17 AM
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Mark "scoot" Trgovac
C-G Pro Shop
Offical "Spokesman"
Youngstown, Ohio
Finishing THS book ave: 200
Finishing PBA Experence ave: 176
Finishing Composit ave: 194
Track HITMAN.
Tag Team Coaching Success Story.
When faced with a problem Chuck Norris asks himself, "What would The Scoot DO?"
Post by: Grayson on April 14, 2008, 05:39:41 AM
take two... merge them together... and you have it..
but you forget one team:
- The "we go to smoke break in frame 5 and don't tell anyone" team
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Sebastian Koch
"Have fun and bowl well!" - Grayson
"Some things are made so even idiots won't fail using them.... But I ask what about the genius?" - Grayson
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Post by: Big Jake on April 14, 2008, 08:06:41 AM
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Big Jake
Post by: KDawg77 on April 14, 2008, 08:15:39 AM
quote:
Mr. I'm Out of a Slump Guy:
I bowl with one guy who says the same routine over and over again before league about how he is bowling his 220's again....only to shoot a 470 in league.
Sadly, I'm that guy right now. Killingit in practice and league, eh... not so much.
--------------------
Ken
Videos at http://www.putfile.come/k-dawg77
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Post by: sheppy335 on April 14, 2008, 08:31:42 AM
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Oil is served Best with fingers!
Why does the 8 Pin laugh at me!
Sheppy
Post by: Monster Pike on April 14, 2008, 08:43:22 AM
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"The last time I saw a face like that, it had a hook in it's mouth." Rodney Dangerfield
Post by: mumzie on April 14, 2008, 11:42:17 AM
We're Only Here for the Beer team - they are so busy consuming multiple pitchers of beer that they:
a. are never up on time.
b. don't notice when they dribble beer on the floor
c. don't understand when you get irritated because they're falling all over themselves
d. are so drunk that they have no idea how loud they are - and they're disturbing bowlers for 3 pair on either side.
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------------------------
www.Shirts4Bowling.com
We Know What Bowlers Want
Post by: mumzie on April 14, 2008, 11:44:49 AM
"I'm only bowling this league because the PBA kicked me out for constant shot clock violations"
This person in my league takes 45-50 seconds from the time they step on the approach. This to average 204 with usually no more than 4 spares a night. Lefty. Can strike all night - but can't spare...
This team also has the "I guess I should really do something about that" bowler, who's husband stands behind her every shot - she'll drop the ball behind her an average of 4 times a night.
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------------------------
www.Shirts4Bowling.com
We Know What Bowlers Want
Post by: bucsfan713 on April 14, 2008, 11:58:44 AM
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Always trying to learn more about the game and make myself better.
Post by: badnuzjr on April 14, 2008, 12:04:29 PM
"The Brady Bunch" - Teams chalked full of relatives, Frank Sr., Frank Jr., Frank III, and Fred. Just go ahead and say..."Frank your up".
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Bad Nuz is Good News
High Game USBC: 262
High Game Unsanctioned: 298
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Post by: iowalefty on April 14, 2008, 12:35:52 PM
we also have the "im missing the spare anyways so ill foul" guy.
the "kick the ball return after missing the head pin throwing a straight ball" 150 average guy.
not to mention almost everyone here is "i want the THS since i dont practice anyways, and hell no i wont bowl a scratch league" guy..lol
--------------------
derek
http://members.bowl.com/SearchUSBC/ViewMember.aspx?prefix=756&suffix=622
http://lss.bowl.com/bowl/BowlDotCom/common/standingusbc/standings.html?league=31404&page=1
current averages 210 on mon 208 on tues
Post by: mainzer on April 14, 2008, 12:46:44 PM
quote:
What about:
"The Brady Bunch" - Teams chalked full of relatives, Frank Sr., Frank Jr., Frank III, and Fred. Just go ahead and say..."Frank your up".
]
We got the Derouso Family bowling Mondays at Super Bowl very nice bowling family I bowl with two of them in leagues and tourneys everywhere and sub mondays from time to time.
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Mainzerpower
Post by: BrianCRX90 on April 14, 2008, 10:07:10 PM
I laugh as my tweener ball racks srikes and know how to throw it straight, straighter and have aim while these poor people do not and beat them every time.
Post by: Zach M on April 14, 2008, 10:45:11 PM
Zach
--------------------
---The words fill my head
And fall to the floor
If God's on our side
He'll stop the next war.
--Bob Dylan
Post by: janderson on April 16, 2008, 03:59:36 PM
quote:
--The All-Cliche Team. No matter the shot, they have a way-overused saying. "The X looks good up there", "Better to be lucky than good", and "Line drive in the scorebook" are the highlight lines.
Oh yes...maybe you should rename this from "All-Cliche Team" to the "Rob Stone Team"
"You got robbed" | "call 911"
"Hit 9, get 9" | "your ball will be right back"
"You'd be great if this was 9-pin no tap"
"Sixty feet to success"
Heck, the cliches would probably fill a topic of their own
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J.J. "Waterola Kid" Anderson, the bLowling King : Kill the back row