The Thanksgiving holiday has always made me contemplate about the future. This may sound silly to some of you, but during this time I am somehow endowed with a certain psychic ability to predict the future. As I sit at my computer tonight reviewing some of the top-of-the-line balls from all the major brands, this endowed premenition kicked in and I was able to see the future... The bowling balls of tomorrow. I will share it with you... but I warn you: Knowing the future can be a tricky rub...
The Bowling Balls of Tomorrow:
Storm Super Duper Quadruple X-Factor Triple Redundancy Xtreme Deuce: RELOADED!! (Fragrance: Vomit)
AMF Maximum Terminal Cancer
Ebonite XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXel
Dyno-Thane Vendetta Soft-Solid Xtra Xtra Dry
Columbia POS T-4
Track Xception 97.5 FM (Today's Hits, Yesterday's Favorites!)
Track Xception Captains Log Stardate 26743.1
Brunswick Erogenous Zone
Hammer Big Brown Turd and Big Brown Turd Spare
Elite PBA THS (For those ever-so predictable conditions)
Columbia Flipside Chronic Arthritis
Storm Eraser Whining Donkey (Fragrance: Poo)
Lane #1 Buzzsaw Contusion on my Slide Foot
MoRich Stuffed Taco Supreme
Roto-Grip Poop Streak Solid
Track Heat Rash (Followed up by it's counter-part, the Track Heat Stroke)
Visionary Janet Reno Gargoyle-Faced Gargantuan
Hammer Small Block Propane
AMF Nighthawk Solid, Reactive, Pearl, Particle, Sanded, (So you can get through your 3-game set) Medicine
LaneMasters Painfully Impacted Molars
Ebonite The Two
Lane #1 Super Carbide Buzzsaw Butt-Nugget Bomb
Brunswick Monster Mash/R
Columbia Big Fat Ugly "You gave that monster tree-fiddy??" Bully
Track Mechano-Rule Sigma B.S. 8
Hammer Hawg My Corn Hole
Roto-Grip Poop Streak Particles
Storm Fired Employee (Fragrance: Dissapointment By Calvin Klien)
Ebonite The "Other" One
Brunswick Disco Inferno
Columbia Scenic Sunday Drive
Dyno-Thane The Thing in my Toilet Smells Funny
Ebonite V2 Repetatively Dry
Elite [Insert Random Letter and Numbers Here]
Hammer Ceiling Fan Blade
Lane #1 Palestinian Suicide Bomb
LaneMasters Woah Baby Not So Much Teeth
MoRich Weapon of Mass Destruction (No, really, I swear they have them!!)
Visionary Froto Baggans Hobbit-Killing Warlock Centaur Gargoyle AMB Solid
Storm X-Factor Polio (Fragrance: FDR's Legs)
Do any of you have these preminitions? If so, I'd like to see your visions... Visions of the future.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone.
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