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Author Topic: Was I Wrong  (Read 2987 times)

BOWL119

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Was I Wrong
« on: December 27, 2006, 01:56:03 PM »
Ok, My oldest son struggled with speed for the last year or so (12-13mph). Suddenly over the last month he has found all kinds of speed and loft, but has no control. I was working with him and only getting argued with. No matter what I said he was doing, he would say he is not doing it. Back and forth we went about everything. Most of the time, it was the ball. He was throwing an Absolute Inferno at the time, so I made a decision. Buy him a new ball to prove it was him and not the ball.

We bought him a BVP MAMMOTH for Christmas. We went bowling and it was the same thing, 18mph, missing mark, lofting to the arrows, ect... Talking with him, his tumb was sticking and anything else he could think about that would dicount it was him.

Basically I did this to prove that it was him, but was I wrong in doing this?
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T.J.

BOWLING IS FUN NO MATTER WHAT YOU SCORE. BUT A 300 IS ALWAYS NICE.

STRIKE ZONE & PYRO. STAND 22 AND THROW 10 OUT TO 5 AND CRUSH THE POCKET. AT LEAST THAT IS THE PLAN OF THE NIGHT...

GOOD LUCK AND GOOD BOWLING!!!
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Danes07

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Re: Was I Wrong
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2006, 10:02:03 PM »
no, it was actually a pretty good tactic....just didn't work.  Nothing you can do will work until he wants to own up to the fact that its not the balls fault, its the person operating the ball.  I'd say just hang with it and wait till he comes around.

Couple things you might do....try to take him bowling on some tough conditions.  Sport shot, lots of carry down, fried lanes....stuff where inconsistancy like he has will get him into trouble.  That might work.  You could take him to have lessons with your local pro.  A lot of kids won't listen to their parents, but when its someone else telling them, they'll listen.

Good Luck!
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University at Albany 2007
    -Let's Go Danes-
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AmfTrack

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Re: Was I Wrong
« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2006, 10:09:34 PM »
I agree with Danes.  Have someone he is scared to argue with try to help him out, a lot of people can't take advice from their parents because they perceive it as criticism.
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Noy

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Re: Was I Wrong
« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2006, 10:15:22 PM »
How old is he?  I know teens can get pretty big headed and not admit to any mistakes.  I'd do one of two things:

1) Video tape him and point out everything he's doing wrong
2) Have someone with more credential watch him and tell him what he's doing wrong.  You'll find the "pro" is telling your son the exact same things but your son will take it more into consideration because of his credentials.

All else fails, post a vid of him on these boards, let everyone rip on him, then let him read what the world has to say.
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Bowling Since March 2006 - "Get coaching, don't worry about it"...blah blah balh...Just answer the questions please
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DanH78

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Re: Was I Wrong
« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2006, 10:16:53 PM »
quote:
 A lot of kids won't listen to their parents, but when its someone else telling them, they'll listen.



My dad could tell my brother something 147 times, he wouldn't listen, but when the drunk would stumble out of the bar, say the same thing my dad was saying, all of a sudden he listened.  

Get him a couple lessons from a good coach.
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What are you gonna do?  Beat me with your Jesus stick?
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proshopbowl

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Re: Was I Wrong
« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2006, 10:38:03 PM »
I would say he was correct.... from what I read. What weight of ball was he throwing? I'm guessing that he has outgrown the weight of the ball. Sudden increase of speed and no accuracy. He's muscling the ball. Did you get him a heavier ball? Maybe I'm just imagining the scenario.
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You like apples? How do you like these apples?
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BOWL119

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Re: Was I Wrong
« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2006, 11:22:26 PM »
quote:
A short video could have been more effective. And a man who would go to such lengths to prove his son wrong has some things to deal with..


What would I have to deal with? Trying to make sure my son sees what he is doing wrong and adjusting it so he will become a better bowler? Sorry, but if that is a crime, arrest me know...
--------------------
T.J.

BOWLING IS FUN NO MATTER WHAT YOU SCORE. BUT A 300 IS ALWAYS NICE.

STRIKE ZONE & PYRO. STAND 22 AND THROW 10 OUT TO 5 AND CRUSH THE POCKET. AT LEAST THAT IS THE PLAN OF THE NIGHT...

GOOD LUCK AND GOOD BOWLING!!!

Edited on 12/28/2006 0:35 AM
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mumzie

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Re: Was I Wrong
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2006, 12:16:02 AM »
I think your heart was in the right place.
I've raised 4 boys, and still deal with this kind of stuff - one works with us in the business.
If someone outside the family says something, the boys don't argue much. If one of us says it, it's argue city - even if they KNOW we're right!
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sdbowler

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Re: Was I Wrong
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2006, 12:31:02 AM »
Video him and have him watch it as well as have another person work with him or give pointers as well.
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Brunswick
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scotts33

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Re: Was I Wrong
« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2006, 12:59:13 AM »
While you are pointing out all the issues your son has make sure you praise the things he does correctly.  Keep doing this and in the long haul you will get thru because he knows you care about him.  Coaches that ONLY point out faults and don't point out the good factors in anyone's game are doomed.......as coaches and their pupils will not succeed.


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Scott

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Scott

cgilyeat

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Re: Was I Wrong
« Reply #10 on: December 28, 2006, 04:25:18 AM »
bowl119 One thing I learned long ago - NEVER coach your wife or kids, get someone else to do it.  You'll have a lot more sucess and a lot fewer arguments.

Colin
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AmfTrack

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Re: Was I Wrong
« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2006, 04:30:25 AM »
^^^^^^^Cgilyeat, I'm pretty sure that's the truest statement ever said on this board lol.
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jdhaze

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Re: Was I Wrong
« Reply #12 on: December 28, 2006, 04:57:49 AM »
If this is only a bowling issue, then I agree, its would probably be better to let a coach or some video tape show him what hes doing wrong.  If however you are seeing him project the blame for mistakes in other areas, then a good heart to heart may be needed.

This is a common trait in a lot of adult bowlers, they blame the ball, lanes and the moon for thier mistakes.  They are the ones that change balls every 2 frames instead of working on thier game or adjusting.  I think your heart was in the right place though and it was worth a try.

JD
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mainzer

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Re: Was I Wrong
« Reply #13 on: December 28, 2006, 05:06:14 AM »
BOWL119 My Dad taught me to bowl and that argument sounds really familiar he will come around eventually I did, When my Dad would get flustered and walk away I always found my self taking his advice just not in front of him I think he knew this but would not tell  me. A video would also be good but have a local pro/pro shop owner give him the tips it always worked better when it came from someone else. Know whenever my Dad talks about bowling and is giving tips I listen, it took until I was 16-17 to figure that out though be patient.
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Mainzerpower
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azguy

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Re: Was I Wrong
« Reply #14 on: December 28, 2006, 06:30:48 AM »
Sounds like your heart is in the right place, but as scotts said, I didn't see where you said/pointed out anything good about what he is/was doing. There has to be positives or a teen will close the door and not ever consider what is said. I've raised 8, raising 2 grandkids, I know what that is all about.

He has faults, no problem, we all do but did you point out what's good about his game ? That makes things go down easier, build on the good, but do point out the bad. Try to make the bad string into the good...."This would be better if you could release here" or something of that nature.

Just an opinion, Good Luck !

PS> Be happy he's not a girl, they tend to bring home their mistakes and want you to raise them !
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az guy aka: R & L Bowlers Pro
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www.rlbowlerspro.com


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