And you know what, I wouldn't trade them for anything........!!!!

--The old dude who has memorized the schedule about 6 weeks in advance, and tells you what lanes he is on when he is standing in front of you as you are handing out the lane assignments for the night.

--The guy who, at the end of the night, gives you the entire blow-by-blow account of every shot he threw of every frame.  The series amounts to 512 (which we re-named our team "512" 5 years ago--the guy still has no idea that it's a playful rib at him) or something in that ballpark.

--The drunk team and stoner team.  Best nights are when they play each other.  It's like a substance-abuse fest.  Nothing but empty beer bottles and bags of Cool Ranch Doritos laying around.

--The team that refuses to move.  These are the guys still using the BUD II, or on the other end of the spectrum, Angular One's, and will be damned if they move even 1/4 of a board to the left as they whiff the head pin time and time again.  Their saving grace is the crossover light mixer strike, which convinces them that they are lined in.

--The Human Rain Delay team.  We have a guy who picks up his ball, curls it to his bicep, closes his eyes to visualize his shot, hyperextends his bowling arm to hold the ball dead straight out, and only then begins his approach.  If he ever won a PBA telecast, he would take home about $45.00.  This team has the obligatory old dude that stands there pondering his 6-pin conversion, only to throw a shot that would convert the 7-pin.

--The No Business Using That team.  You know this team.  The four guys collectively averaging 660, but all using Total NV's, and absolutely abusing the head pin by bashing it in the face all night.  See also:  Refuse To Move Team (above)

--The 100-mph Team.  The team of Plastic Fireballers whizzing the ball at the head pin at Mach 3, hitting the 1-3 and not understanding why they aren't carrying, and becoming more furious by the minute.

--The Team That Announces Everything.  "Congratulations to XXXXX, with a 203 game."  

--The Scoreboard Creepers.  These guys become more prevalent as the season winds down.  They hawk the back of your pair to see how you are doing against your opponents.  They are usually rosin bag target practice for us.  Playfully, of course.

--The Team with the Kiddy.  They have so many rules and fines, that Stephen Hawking is the only other guy that could possibly understand how much you or your teammates pay on a turkey, or an open, or a beer frame, or a washout conversion, or not getting the wood on a split, or not quacking and flapping your arms on a double, etc.  Their pair usually sounds like a generous slot machine in Atlantic City.

--The Owner's Team.  Usually stacked, with the absolute biggest cake shot ever on that pair for the night.

And because of these guys is the reason why I've been in this league for 1/3 of my entire life.

How many of you have the

"wrong foot slide, yet I am a lefty" bowler?

or

"The fidgeting, 3 step backward dancer" -
the guy who stand there for 30 - 40 seconds (which can seem like an eternity on the approach) fidgeting with his fingers in all 3 holes, taking them in and out, in and out. THEN, it looks like he's ready to go, he takes 2 steps forward. You see this and since you next to go, you step up onto your approach to get ready ...BUT he then takes THREE steps backward to get into a normal approach.
You stand there, jaw agape, wondering, "What the pluck will he do next??" and "what do I do now that I'm up here?" Quickly you step back off the approach.   Then he goes, while you're 1 step from getting off your approach and you should be stepping up onto it.

After 2 or 3 weeks of this nonsense, you just stand there staring at his routine.

--------------------
"None are so blind as those who will not see."

My Favorate guy is the 140 bowler who thinks he should beat all the 200 bowlers and acuses you of sanbagging when you are a 200 average.
--------------------
Member of F.O.S.

 Solid Uranium
 H2O
 Bullet

Available for trade or sale

In my league we have an entire team of "people" lol that hit the ball return after a bad shot or ten pin leave.  They also have 3 balls each, one for every game, duh.  

On my team one of our guys sets his alarm clock for 15 min before the league starts, flies across town, misses practice to order food, and whines when he didn't know that we could've entered a tournament or something.  

Theres also a guy that uses both hands to bowl and no fingers.  So he hops 3 times to get to the foul line then just tosses the ball out there.  He has a blue and red ball, not sure what kind they are but it doesn't really matter to him.  He uses a different one for strikes every week.  Also, if he throws a gutter ball, which happens a lot, he'll pick up his spare ball of the week and throw it for his strike ball.

Theres one other guy in my league, the one that tosses the ball 15 feet out on the lane.  He averages about 160 but has been getting better I'll give him that, but he should also pay for the craters in the lanes.  I think he throws a 16lb ball and just chucks it every shot.  I don't think he's ever set the ball down smoothly before and if he did it was on accident.
--------------------
AIM=donutsbrian

Edited on 4/6/2007 7:03 PM