Author Topic: Will my drive come back.. (Read 895 times)

Tweener92 · « **on:** August 13, 2006, 12:12:44 AM »

On 3 Aug I lost my mother to a long term illness yet to be determined by doctors. She was was a couple weeks shy of turning 49. My question is this: Will my drive to do anything return? At this point I don't want to do anything! No bowling, no Djing, NOTHING! I've lost the person that I wanted to make proud. I used to dream and think about bowling all day and night. Now to be honest, I am thinking about just hanging it up. Prior to this I was making pretty good strides in improvement, bowled my first Regional and did well. Now the thoughts of just selling my equipment linger. I'm soo freakin lost......
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Tim
Member of The Track Legion

R.I.P. Mom
Aug 29 1957 - Aug 3 2006

Tweener92 · « **Reply #1 on:** August 16, 2006, 05:50:47 PM »

Bones and Inverted 1,

Thank you guys for helping me through a tough time. It is time for me to pull myself together and press on. There are people that have lost way more than I or have lost parent a lot sooner that I. I will cherrish that time that I was allowed to spend with her. That time can never be taken from me. She is with me every day and in ever place that I go.

Thanks guys,

Tim
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Tim
Member of The Track Legion

R.I.P. Mom
Aug 29 1957 - Aug 3 2006

LuvThatWhiteDot · « **Reply #2 on:** August 16, 2006, 08:10:04 PM »

On Dec. 30 of this year, it will be 13 years since I lost my Mom. She was 60. I probably think of her at least once a day.

I spent about 3 months after her death trying to fill what felt like a gaping hole inside me with good memories, lots of tears for healing, and lots of support from my Dad (I just lost him in a car accident in March of this year).

I can promise you that the drive to do anything DOES return (see? I'm bowling again)

and it will return when YOU are ready. You'll feel it in your bones, and suddenly the world will suddenly have blue skies again and you'll realize that life has gone on.

You've loved her your whole life, and you're allowed to miss her your whole life. Cherish the memories and smile when you think of her. I have no doubt in my mind that you made her proud without you even knowing it

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White Dot

Where am I going and why am I in this basket?
"I wish I was in Tijuana...eating barbequed iguana..."
GO LEAFS GO!!

FBM357 · « **Reply #3 on:** August 16, 2006, 09:49:45 PM »

quote:
Tweener92,

I know how you feel buddy. I too lost my mother recently (Oct. 29, 2004). She was taken within 5 1/2 months of being diagnosed wiht lung cancer, stage 4. She was also my world and bowling was a very special bond that we shared with each other. I lived in another part of the state, but for any bowling tourney, we would always meet each other at it and spend the weekend together. My dad never came and it was always a special time for us....just us. She and I experienced our first PBA telecast in person at the Wichita Open several years ago. There are so many bowling memories we share with each other as well as non-bowling memories.

It was hard that whole year of bowling. I started off the season knowing she didn't have long to live. It was rather sudden (to me) when she did pass and it was constantly on my mind. It was really hard to keep it together, no matter where I went. The bowling alley was especially worse. I just couldn't shake the loss of her when I was bowling. I was going to quit around the end of the first half (after Dec.).

Thanks to some encouragement of my wife and several bowling buddies as well as my family, I stuck it out. My bowling began to get back to normal as far as average and I was able to focus somewhat better. One night, I could feel her actually come down and tell me it was all right in the form of a "strike pot." The year before I won a strike pot. It was a pot that everyone bought tickets and if their number was called, they got a chance to bowl 2 strikes for the whole pot. Well, the year before my number got called and I won it.....it was $2900! They of course had it again the following year. It hadn't been won in a while and again, my ticket was called. This time it was up to $3800. Well, lo and behold I won it again. Two beautiful strikes! Now where does my mother coming down and telling me it was going to be all right come in at? I won it on January 6th, one day after what would have been my mother's birthday....it was a rough time financialwise and I just had this all over warm feeling that my mother had a big part in me winning the strike pot. This is a true story bowlers!! To this day, she has always been the Angel on my shoulder, especially when it comes to bowling.

Tim, you really just have to take one day at a time. That was the best advice I got. Because no one can tell you it is going to be all right or easy. It is hard to take advice from others just for the simple fact it hurts so much to have that person gone from your life. Some days you need to cry it out, while others you need to scream, as well as others you just need to rejoice in the fact that you got to experience a wonderful person in your life for a pretty long time. Be patient with things......it is okay to walk away from bowling for a while. hat might be the best thing.....it might be the worst thing. You can always come back to it when you feel like you are ready. The key word is you being ready and focused to proceed on, buddy. All advice that you are getting in this thread is good advice.

Just know that you got FRIENDS on here that are supportive of you and will do anything that you need. I am going to pm my phone # to you, just in case you need to talk to someone. Feel free to give me a shout and who knows, maybe we both benefit from talking about our losses and experiences. I still tear up pretty good (like right now!) thinking about her and relating any stories/experiences/memories about my mother.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family Tim....may time help heal your hearts and the good memories flood your mind.
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Marlene Sixkiller
May this Angelic Bowler
rest in peace.....1/5/39-10/29/04

Active member and hit man for the Track Legion.

Check my profile for good transactions with members on br.com

Well said and ON POINT!!!! I lost my Mom (Feb. 19, 2004) and still to this day it hurts like the first! Cry? All the time. YELL? every now and then. ANGER? to a degree, yes. Not only did I cry for myself, but moreso for my Dad who has been with her longer than my years in age. His loss is much greater than mine.

Time doesn't heal the wound, memories miraculously find a way to do so.

My prayers go out to you and your family. Should you need an attentive ear or simply 'shoot the ish' feel free to PM me.

Vernon
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Proud member of the Track Revolution - EMERITUS & Hitman

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results!"

tenpinspro · « **Reply #4 on:** August 17, 2006, 11:46:36 AM »

Tim, I am deeply sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my Father 16 yrs ago and I also did not know how I was going to move forward. I did realize however that for me to stop living my life would not be something he would want. That's not why he worked so hard, loved me and raised me to try and give me a better life then his own.

Now as parent and Grandparent, I have become my Father and have tried to give back to my children and grandchildren the love and effort he gave me. I know when I go, my chldren and granchildren will miss me but for them to want to stop living life would break my heart. That is the last thing I'd want for them. I'd have to believe that your Mother would have wanted the same for you (to have a good life). That's what any loving parent wants for their children.

Think about the times she has supported you or pushed you through life, I'm sure none of that has changed. I know it's tough man but hang in there, pm me and I'll give you my cell if you need a friend to talk to.

Rick

Author Topic: Will my drive come back.. (Read 895 times)

Tweener92

Will my drive come back..

Tweener92

Re: Will my drive come back..

LuvThatWhiteDot

Re: Will my drive come back..

FBM357

Re: Will my drive come back..

tenpinspro

Re: Will my drive come back..