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Author Topic: Are these guys in your league?  (Read 17848 times)

baccala8872

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Are these guys in your league?
« on: April 06, 2007, 01:28:22 AM »
And you know what, I wouldn't trade them for anything........!!!!

--The old dude who has memorized the schedule about 6 weeks in advance, and tells you what lanes he is on when he is standing in front of you as you are handing out the lane assignments for the night.

--The guy who, at the end of the night, gives you the entire blow-by-blow account of every shot he threw of every frame.  The series amounts to 512 (which we re-named our team "512" 5 years ago--the guy still has no idea that it's a playful rib at him) or something in that ballpark.

--The drunk team and stoner team.  Best nights are when they play each other.  It's like a substance-abuse fest.  Nothing but empty beer bottles and bags of Cool Ranch Doritos laying around.

--The team that refuses to move.  These are the guys still using the BUD II, or on the other end of the spectrum, Angular One's, and will be damned if they move even 1/4 of a board to the left as they whiff the head pin time and time again.  Their saving grace is the crossover light mixer strike, which convinces them that they are lined in.

--The Human Rain Delay team.  We have a guy who picks up his ball, curls it to his bicep, closes his eyes to visualize his shot, hyperextends his bowling arm to hold the ball dead straight out, and only then begins his approach.  If he ever won a PBA telecast, he would take home about $45.00.  This team has the obligatory old dude that stands there pondering his 6-pin conversion, only to throw a shot that would convert the 7-pin.

--The No Business Using That team.  You know this team.  The four guys collectively averaging 660, but all using Total NV's, and absolutely abusing the head pin by bashing it in the face all night.  See also:  Refuse To Move Team (above)

--The 100-mph Team.  The team of Plastic Fireballers whizzing the ball at the head pin at Mach 3, hitting the 1-3 and not understanding why they aren't carrying, and becoming more furious by the minute.

--The Team That Announces Everything.  "Congratulations to XXXXX, with a 203 game."  

--The Scoreboard Creepers.  These guys become more prevalent as the season winds down.  They hawk the back of your pair to see how you are doing against your opponents.  They are usually rosin bag target practice for us.  Playfully, of course.

--The Team with the Kiddy.  They have so many rules and fines, that Stephen Hawking is the only other guy that could possibly understand how much you or your teammates pay on a turkey, or an open, or a beer frame, or a washout conversion, or not getting the wood on a split, or not quacking and flapping your arms on a double, etc.  Their pair usually sounds like a generous slot machine in Atlantic City.

--The Owner's Team.  Usually stacked, with the absolute biggest cake shot ever on that pair for the night.

And because of these guys is the reason why I've been in this league for 1/3 of my entire life.

 

Scolai

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #31 on: April 06, 2007, 01:33:07 PM »
Wait.  I forgot one of my least favorites.  I've seen variations of this guy in several different houses.

"Hairy butt-crack guy" - He's the guy whose pants always creep down about 2-3" when he throws the ball, revealing two very disturbing facts: 1) he doesn't wear underwear to the bowl and 2) he's got a lot of hair "back there".  This is the guy that keeps me standing with my back to the approach until it's my turn.  Gods forbid I ever have to bowl at the same time as him.  I'm weirding out even as I type this.
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KDawg77

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #32 on: April 06, 2007, 01:35:58 PM »
Add these guys:

"The Used-To-Be": The guy who can't bowl worth a damn, yet claims all these great feats in his younger days.

"The 'The Owner Rigged The Shot' Guy": In my case, it's the same same as above. He constatly claims that during city tournament, the proprietor dressed the lane to better his and his team's chances.
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chitown

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #33 on: April 06, 2007, 02:09:03 PM »
Great post.

I bowl on a big money, though lane patterns league.  We use 4 patterns thru out the season.  Well there's this older guy on my league that uses 1 bowling ball for every pattern.  He uses the old LT 48 Johnny Patraglia urethane.  That's all he uses!

Well he holds one of the highest avg. in the 24 team, 5 men per team league, with that one single ball.  SO here I am looking at my 4 ball arsenal I brought with and looking at his one ball and wondering how in the hell he kicks everyones butt. lol

I'm sure there's a guy like this on some leagues across the country.

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strikealot

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #34 on: April 06, 2007, 02:36:07 PM »
how about the team that brings all 15 of there kids to the center while the kids scream all night right behind your pair..
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Easy10pins

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #35 on: April 06, 2007, 02:47:35 PM »
Mr. Bling - Kudos to the bowlers accomplishments but is it really necessary to wear all 14 300-game rings at once?

Balls 4 Days - Brings 12 or more balls to league night and gets mad when none of them works for him.

Lane#1 Whore - This guy literally has every ball ever made by Lane1 and carries all of them in his car.  He can be seen running out to his car between shots to swap out balls.
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Fluff E Bunnie

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #36 on: April 06, 2007, 03:01:15 PM »
quote:
how about the team that brings all 15 of there kids to the center while the kids scream all night right behind your pair..


Ah yes the classic nursery bowling scenario.  Love it.
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KDawg77

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #37 on: April 06, 2007, 03:02:55 PM »
The "High-five Begger": I hate this guy because he comes to you expecting/begging for a five when you should be the one to offer when he comes off the lane.
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bamaster

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #38 on: April 06, 2007, 03:30:35 PM »
A couple more...

The Goth Team: the team with more rivets in their body than a Spitfire.  They all share the same Skull Vis-a-Ball.

Dirty Men Team: they play cards with the porno deck of cards.  They tell you the dirty joke-o-the-week if you want to hear or not.

More Balls That Sense Team: this team has more bowling balls in their Donkey rollers than there are frames being bowled.  They can be seen at the ball polishing machine 30 minutes before practice starts polishing a AMF XS.

Anti-Resin Team: grown men with equipment discontinued before they started bowling.  The team captain thrown a Yellow Dot bleeder and the young gun throws a Wine U-Dot.  All balls were bought from the same garage sale.

The One Hot Chick Team: this is the team everyone wants to bowl because it has the only hot chick in the league.  She wears a miniskirt and a shirt shirt with no bra.  No one can recall the other team members, but yeah, even I want to bowl that team.
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BrunsMike

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #39 on: April 06, 2007, 03:53:03 PM »
We have many on your list on my thursday night team, minus the Old man team. This is why I enjoy my Thursday nights so much. My team would be the Score Board Creepers. It is the end of the year and right now we are tied for 1st place. We have been tied for 1st place for the last 7 weeks!!

We also have a Team "The Human Rain Delay Team". Only our version is totally different. Actually this team is 2 teams in 1. The Drinking Team is also the Human Rain Delay Team. After every 5th frame the entire team gets up and goes to the wash room to drain their kidneys and returns 5-10 mintues later completely forgetting whos turn it is next.
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ThongPrincess

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #40 on: April 06, 2007, 04:17:57 PM »
Monday night there is a mixed hadcp league next to our sport league.  They have what I call the turkey team.  Anytime some one on their pair or within sight of them gets a turkey, they proceed to gobble like a bunch of turkeys.  It was almost funny at first, now it is just plain annoying.  The only good thing is, there are not too many turkeys thrown in the league

It is especially annoying when we bowl 13-14 and they are on 11-12
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BrianCRX90

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #41 on: April 06, 2007, 04:20:13 PM »
What about the "I don't give a F guy" that is hostile and just chucks the ball aimlessly down the lane and if he misses he says "I DON'T CARE!"

mainzer

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #42 on: April 06, 2007, 04:23:25 PM »
I would be a member of the ''Dream Team'' we are all good enough to anchor but somehow we all are on the same team, Example before we had a guy drop out our low average going into state tounement was 212 all 4 others are 220+.

We have I don't care if we win or lose team and the Team's name is '' Don't care'' this is also the drinking team with a bowling problem squad.

we are the loud team in the league.

I have been a member of the ball a week club for the last couple of months.

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nutsforbowling

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #43 on: April 06, 2007, 04:44:23 PM »
We have the "I wanna be Dave Chappelle team" on our league. After every strike they yell out some slogan from the show, and they call the one black guy on the team "Darkness". When he throws a strike, they scream"Darkness is in the house!!!!!!!!" Classic.
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keeones23

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #44 on: April 06, 2007, 04:51:29 PM »
I just love the stoner and drunk team they are pretty much the ones hootin and hollerin. They're so loud you would think they were winning or somewhere close to 1st but they're close to last. I was just a sub in my thursday league and some guys needed another bowler so they picked me up. On our team we Have a guy who throws the ball 25 ft down the lane before it touches down. We have the refuse to ove guy I try to give him the little advice that I do have and he wont listen and he short arms the ball. And then we have the guy who has this crazy shot that looks like he shuold've hurt himself by now and after he throws the shot he has this retarded pose. And then there's me i guess I'm the odd man out cause I'm normal. And our team Name is MAN.BEAR.PIG
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scooter19530

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Re: Are these guys in your league?
« Reply #45 on: April 06, 2007, 05:26:09 PM »
this is hilarious, probably the funniest thing i have read.
how about the, i am going to give the pins the finger everytime i don't get a strike guy, even if he doesn't touch the headpin.
one team will high 5 you so hard you'll swear they dislocated your shoulder (always remember to use your non-bowling arm when giving that high 5.
2 guys on one of the better teams in our league thought it would be cool to make up their own ritual. a double high 5, roll the arms down while still keeping in contact with each other, then snap their fingers, then chest bump. i swear to god, they are so close the whole time you are waiting for them to swap spit as a grand finale. (not that there is anything wrong with that).
then there is the guy who wraps the ball completely around his back, cranks it so hard you hope he just hits the right lane. i ask what mark he is shooting at and confessesthat he "aiming between 15 and 25". his scores for the night 148-250-165. and he has 2 300's. every game is an adventure, every shot a mystery. it's like a car wreck, you can't look away.
how about the guy who wears his shirts 2 sizes too small to show his "guns" to the girls.